Howdy Deppy Dude!
How’s you going? You’re my first trial and tribulations, ya know that? To begin with, Dude, we happen to be both born on 9 June, amazing huh?
– STOP! CUT! FERALBULB! STOP THIS NOW!
– What’s eating you Rosie? I don’t believe it: you can’t be interrupting me like this on my first assignment, online, in front of everybody. This is a disaster! You PROMISED you wouldn’t interfere, this is my turf, GET OUT!
– Oh don’t give me that. It’s a good way for people to get to pay attention if nothing else. Look, please, please, Feralbulb cherub—
– —Don’t you ‘cherub’ me Rosie. I—
– —All I’m asking is that you address yourself politely to Mr. Johnny Depp, especially on your first encounter with the lad. Once you get to know him it might change but—
– —You God damn wicked witch of the West, go get crushed by a house, this is my—
– —Put yourself in my shoes, I need clients. They’re all going to think ‘like brother, like sister’.
– This is my grand entrance to the world. Get the @*&%* out of here, I won’t repeat it.
Yeah, that’s right, slam the door, Sis. Where was I? O. Yep. Johnny, Dude, I need to tell you a few things.
Firstly, it’s like there is this new job opportunity that has just come up for you, one that you can’t ignore, one big blockbuster again, one you’re very much attracted to. Yet, it’s strange; I feel, Johnny, Dude, that you don’t really want it at this particular point of your life. You want to stay with your family and spend more time with them. This coming and going on set for this movie and that, you being liked, loved by so many. It’s decision time for you. You know you will take it yet you want a good break. But you are who you are and you need to go because it’s your living, your providing the bread, your enjoying what you do yet being tired, needing that break. You will go, just as nice as this glass of French wine on the cobbled streets of some God damned nice French village might be. I promised sis I wouldn’t mention matters of the heart so you would have some private life not being displayed to all. But this is mainly what is coming through though: your longing to be with that awesome gap toothed partner of yours, the mother of your children, your lifelong love.
Your partner is so understanding, lovely, nice, nice. She even encourages you to take on more work and do what you must do despite her being at a crossroads because she wants to follow her heart whatever happens and be at your side for eternity. God Dammit, Deppy Dude! You lucky bastard. She’s the smarter of the two of you. Cheer up, mate. Of course there’s that other side to you. Deal with it. Get spiritual about it if you must or choose a better wine but don’t let it get to you. You get the magic wand in you. Take action. You have many a cup filled. There’s more. Keep your sense of wonder and settle what must be settled. Decide, don’t linger. Yeah, mate. Get hold of yourself. Love matters. You fear the unpopularity and the coldness of what might happen if whatever it is you don’t want to reveal gets out there. You know damn well that what you have already is full of riches; you don’t want to give it all up, do you? I said go and decide. I meant decide over your working life and enjoy it again. Anything to do with the heart, let God, fate or whatever it may be that decides make that next move for you, cause you don’t control this, this being bigger than you. Yeah, definitely, I say, if you will take it, let destiny do what it has to do and live for what you have. Tough ain’t it?
– You finished, Feralbulb?
– Where you coming from, Rosie? You weren’t listening were you?
– You finished?
– Yeah, that’s about it for Johnny.
– Come inside, we must talk.