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The first thing that comes up Mr. Leonardo, is that you’ve just had some surprise.  I don’t like to talk about private life and relationships but Rosie’s gone on holidays and what I have to say isn’t too intrusive.  It feels like you’ve had some ‘what-the-hell-eureka’ day where an old love reappeared into your life, which you didn’t expect to happen.  You’d been thinking about that old love and you believed it had been all but finished for good.  There had been problems because you were far apart all the time, often in different countries and it created unbearable tensions between the two of you.  Yet you dreamed about each other.  (O you’re so damned romantic Mr. Leonardo, Rosie would just love you).  Finance, you kept saying, is not a problem and you were ready to offer all that you had so that you could be together… but money isn’t everything and you know that it is what one does with one’s life that makes it interesting and worth living and you couldn’t impose your will over someone’s happiness.  And now you find yourself together, through a feat of destiny you, as an intuitive person, could not fathom for yourself.  This is as far as your love life goes.  Don’t worry, I won’t write anything about your antics in the bedroom.

You, Mr. Gatsby, need a challenge (for God’s sake, Man, couldn’t you just sit in a chair and do nothin’?).  It’s all very well to look at what you’ve achieved and accumulated but you can’t be doing nothing (To be honest, I don’t understand people like you but I’m at the command of the cards and I think that you might not be interested in my personal opinion).  You need to measure yourself up constantly to feel that you are alive.  Without a challenge, you don’t thrive (not how boring’s that?).  You’re a born actor and not only do you love what you do but you must constantly reiterate the level of your skills by being confronted to others (Fuck, forget about what other think of you Mr. Great!).  You like difficult movies, impossible directors and playing with actors who you feel are so much better than you that it’s as if you were starting at the bottom of your craft, even if, by now, you’re so far from being a beginner.  It’s the thrill it gives you that makes you want to cross uncharted territories and discover new ways of acting (Your life exhaust me just writing about it).

Mr. Caprio, there’s nothing more you dislike than lack of purpose and those who retire once they’ve reached a certain level.  Achievement and shining on stage is your only purpose.  Your entire spiritual being is motivated uniquely by the need to be an actor, perform and shine.  Money doesn’t matter to you.  You would give it all away just to be able to be an actor if it ever – God forbid – came to that (Now that’s something I don’t fuck get).  And when you shine, you fear, most of all, becoming conceited and self-delusional (yeah man, but ain’t it nice being at the top?  Can’t you enjoy a moment’s glory like I would?)  You cannot afford to be discreet yet, when you can, you take the chance to hide, literally and do your own thing (Now you’ve become a total mystery to me.  I hope however than you understand my reading and recognise yourself in it).

Mr. Leonardo, it feels like you enjoy being in control of all that you do (Boring, boring… don’t we all?).  You’ve worked so hard and you master your craft in a perfect Rolex manner which result in your wishing you could regain the spontaneity and enthusiasm you had as a beginner.  You like to incorporate instinctive moments in your acting but you fear them because you are very technical in your approach to your work nowadays and you fear that acting instinctively might make a fool of you.  It’s a contradiction in you because you are very intuitive so you should not fear letting your instinct take over at times.  Just remember being younger and combine the two methods (In short, do like I do and blurt it out without thinking too much, it helps, trust me, Man).  You reputation is important as an actor and it seems that you will want to direct movies that you also take part in, because you’ve got so much experience that you need to let it out.

Mr. Great, it looks that, in your past, you struggled to bring your dreams to fruition.  It’s like everyone around you was telling you not to do what you wanted to do and it feels like you went ahead anyway, against the tide, because this is who you are and you knew it and you weren’t frightened of failure because you had learned in your early childhood that failure is just a word and the only fault you could have done was not to do what you and only you wanted to do.  In time, everything changed for the better for you, it wasn’t easy but you came and conquered and succeeded at your craft like few others.  For a long time too, it was like it’s this or nothing… acting or dying, your world was made of black and white and white and black and you weren’t compromising (You’re a pal, I’m a lot like you).  The thing is, God, or destiny, or the Universe, was with you and came to meet your great will power with the gift of acting and to be able to live on it.

Interestingly, Mr. Leonardo, it feels like you need to let spontaneity and surprises come into your acting life.  Let others surprise you; let the universe surprise you by allowing it to come to you.  Open yourself up to unusual things.  It will improve everything for you as you’ll be able to understand how others do it too.  It’s like you need to give yourself a different angle to the perspective you have so that you may get a deeper understanding of what others need as well as yourself.

You are fortunate in that you are surrounded by people you trust and who like you (now we’re different here you and I).  In terms of close relationships (family and close friends) you also are lucky in that you are aware that you can count on some of them at all times and for anything and you count your blessings.

Lastly, you can inspire people less fortunate than you are through your craft.  It feels that to give more meaning, deeper purpose to your life, you would like to teach small classes of actors, be it for stage or movies; actors who would come from deprived backgrounds and who couldn’t do it if you didn’t help them.  You’ve got similar ideas to Ms Helena Bonham Carter but in smaller.  It feels like it is a wish still buried within you but one you may bring to fruition.  What you can do to select such people for your classes without it being known by any fuckwit, forgive me for laying it out here, should you read this, is to make it appear as if it’s some minor acting selection of potential actors taking place in some poor area for some small play in the area and you hiding behind the curtains to select the lucky few.  It’s a very generous enterprise you have in mind and it will definitively prove rewarding.  There I’ve just managed to close the fucking last paragraph without any intrusive interruptions and by remaining God damn polite.

Your next movie:

You’ll play some dispossessed, distressed looser who never seems to get it right and who has trouble in his head until he is invited to see a doctor overseas to help him sort it out and succeeds eventually at becoming a powerful, rich but fair business man/manager.  It will be based on a true story.  You enjoy true stories because you really like to feel what others have felt and trying to understand them.  In truth, I’d love to see you as an evil person or as an alien Mr Great because your eyes, so far, only make me want to befriend you (got plenty of ideas for you, just let me know and I’ll tell you about it.. even got a fucking script for you).

Best of luck Mr Di Caprio, don’t forget about my script.