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–                      I was tolerant in letting you doing the exotic… but the French ?

–                      She’s everywhere.

–                      Everywhere’s anywhere.  It lacks distinction.  She’s too much of a chameleon.  Feralbulb, you’re typical of a man: so naïve.

–                      Now, why would you say that, Rosie?

–                      Do you really believe she can speak English that well?  Every word she says is dubbed.

–                      She’s not ashamed of her accent.

–                      She didn’t have any in Batman.

–                      The truly gifted scare you, huh? or would the green eye monster have anything to do with it?  You and your God damn particles of hell… You know, it should all be about defying logic…  So much for your scientist background.  Ever wondered why clients aren’t exactly lining up at your door, Sis?

–                      She had an affair with Leonardo Di Caprio, her co-star in Inception?

–                      Never did.

–                      Did so, that’s what the French do.

–                      Even I’m shocked at your lack of judgement here, Sis.  I thought we’d agreed not to let cheap gossip leak through our presentations?

–                      Good.  Well done Feralbulb, you’ve just past the test.  I was making sure you knew exactly what we’re about and that our readers know what to expect.



Dear Marion Cotillebon,

Sorry about the crap you’ve just had to hear.  It’s just part of our antics, Rosie and I…

It appears your life is very much influenced by the wheel of fortune: change.  Change is all around us and everywhere but in your life, it is not going to change, as if change was your life.  You are born on 30 September 1975 and you are a wonderful Libran.

You are full of grace, Ms Cotillard.  You are faced with constant change, not just because of your work, but with your relationships and just as much as you are talkative and bubbly on stage and at work, currently, when you’re with family or friends, you are guarded.  It is necessary for your sanity.  They all want a piece of you, they all want to stir your emotions and you need to be by yourself at times, to think and see things clearly.  You also need intimacy with your partner and he more than loves finding spare – if not stolen – moments with you.  It replenishes his energy, he finds you full of wisdom which you’re not even aware of.

It is clear you don’t like surprises at the moment, yet your life is full of them.  You don’t want to have to choose and make emotional decisions.  You’re above and beyond that.  It feels like you’re going to have to go very far to make a movie, I see somewhere very cold and mountainous and it either is the Himalayas or Antarctica which means you won’t be able to live what you want to live currently, and that is peace and quiet moments with your partner… yet you dream about it.  Career or Love?  Love or Career?  Ah Ms Potillon, sometimes the choice doesn’t belong to us and such is your life.

You fear the loss of your love, of your relationship, of your most precious.  Without your love, you feel like you’re nothing.  You fear the attraction you feel for all things spiritual, your career and material things.  You fear the power of everything that has nothing to do with love and for which you are attracted and that is inevitable.  You have so much passion inside you, Ms Clotillard.

You hope for quiet, restful times.  You want respite.  You wish so strongly to find peace to seek spirituality, unlocking your energies, your intuition and practice your craft, as if you’re looking to find new ways of exploring your craft and you resent having to attend social functions and do’s that are meaningless for you yet that are a necessary part of your life.

You come from a happy home, stable and open to debate.  Your family taught you to never fear or doubt your abilities and to always believe that you could apply yourself to anything you wanted to and be successful at it.  Your family has always refused to see things negatively and despite sometimes trying circumstances, has always put the difficulties in the back of their minds – not to ignore them – but to make them appear as small and deal with them as every day to day difficulties even if those were … huge and this has made you a fighter.

Amasingly, it is indicated that you ought to forget about your craft a little at the moment, to forget your wanting to shine and to even forget about your intuition and do things (what you want) more spontaneously even if it goes against your nature, against what you feel you should be doing.  Your love children and you want to spend time with them.  You love to perform with them and to teach them.  You’re so young, so successful, yet it would do you a whole world of good to step back and do what you feel like doing at the moment which you deny yourself.  Take a year off, take a rest.  Your entire soul needs it.  Forget what ‘others’ tell you, listen to that little voice you keep trying to shut off.

You have close ones who love you and new, small opportunities that you ought not to be blind too.  Don’t just count on your current blessings, look at those hidden ones, they add to your joy.  You have the power to change things the way you want rather than let everything change around you.  You do have some control over your life even if you don’t like it and you must remember you have a plenty already and that taking a rest won’t stop the wheel spinning for you: you’ll always be in demand.  Your abilities are well establish and you can command time off if you need to, don’t hesitate.

Stop seeking what you’ve been taught to seek the way you’ve been taught to seek it.  As said before, you don’t need more, you need time for yourself to cherish and nurture… yourself and those very close to you.  Have more children if you feel like it.  You’re not just a natural born actress, you’re also a bloody good mother, a natural born mother and you deserve to enjoy as motherhood as much as any other woman.  Have five children.  So what?  You’re made of the mould of the greatest, just like Jeanne Moreau.  Have them, the five kids.  Your career can take and will take off later again without a doubt.

In your next movie, I can definitely say that you’ll play the misery life of a poor woman who comes to power and comes to enjoy the riches thanks to her love of nature.  Possibly you’re going to play a ‘fallen elf’ who becomes a real woman, a queen, in one of Peter Jackson’s epic Hobbit series, or whatever that next series will be.  It might be called Gandalf the Pink or Golum battles Gonorrhea, but in Mr Jackson’s epic you’ll be.

One last think Ms Marion, not only do you belong to the grand French actresses circle already, I know this – don’t ask me how – but also you’re what Gerard Depardieu or Audrey Tautou were to the English speaking public.  Say you’re even bigger than Audrey now, and as big, if not bigger soon, than Gerard.  And you have no accent.

You are very, very creative, as an artist and as a human being.  Let me know when you have more kids because I can’t wait to see you fulfilled and happy like that.