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– You deserved it!  Every bit of it!

– Rosie, I’m disgusted.  You’ve slimed me in the most disgusting manner.

– Yep.  I drew my inspiration from the hack fish.

– Not particles this time.

– Slime particles that can think, unlike some.  Apologise now.

– Folks, I apologise.  Watch my lips: NOT.

– What did you just muster?

– Nothing, Sis.  Nada.  Nichts.  Rien de rien.

– Hey !  Why did you slap me like this?  That was uncalled for.  Besides, you’re supposed to be civilised?!  What’s just got into you?

– That’s what got into me.

And Rosie slaps Feralbulb once more.  Then she sticky tapes his mouth.

– There now, Feralbulb.  How does it feel to be helplessly tied to a chair and silenced, huh?  Folks, this is Rosie speaking.  I’m sorry for the scene you just witnessed but it had to happen.  Now, on to our sheep: today, I’ll be reading for Mr. Yann Martel, born on 25 June 1963, a clear thinking Gemini, a wonderful writer, a close friend of mine…  and stop wriggling like this, brother.  I can say anything I please.  And do remember to enjoy that sticky tape before I go and get the sand paper quality tape.

Dearest Yann,

Currently, it appears as if you are overcoming the odds because your life was thrown into turmoil through the selfish and inconsiderate acts of others, acts that were obvious and stupid and that spoke of betrayal.  Thankfully, you are strong and to you, spirituality matters most.  Although, my friend, you shed light and could see clearly what was happening, you maintained your steady cruise speed and walked away from it all unaffected and not willing to take part or mingle into the ridiculous, envious and foolish acts of others.  Well done, Yann.  Changing your ways/attitude and continuing with your intense writing sessions brought you the comfort you were looking for in those difficult times.  You are still analysing the situation and trying to keep track and understand every little bit that occurred, although you may be hiding this fact.  Someone eventually walked away quite unhappy from the unfolding real life drama and you can now carry on with your life more aware that this could happen again any time as well as more aware that you would know first-hand how to handle this type of event now.  There are definite better bits of life coming towards you and you should trust the incoming changes to be adorable.

At the moment, Yann, you are applying strength and resolve to your life and you are able to tame the beast within thanks to your acute sense of awareness and spirituality.  There is a world of creation coming to you and fresh and new ideas are coming in fast.  Don’t forget to protect those as they deserve, not that you don’t know, just a little reminder.  Your creativity isn’t dying down, far from it so don’t you think of these ‘eureka’ moments as things of the past but believe that there are plenty more to come.

Now, your current fears appear to stem from hesitation and procrastination.  Not only this, but it feels as if you are afraid of spontaneity and that you don’t always trust your instinct.  I think, Mr. Martel, that more exercise – go out and walk – as well as coffee, could jostle your brain into the right position to get you to stop this side thinking that isn’t out of the square but an infinite circle.

I feel, Yann, that you don’t want to be working for money any more.  I don’t mean that you don’t want to be making any more money but that you don’t even wish a bare, single thought of pecuniary interest to cross your mind ever again because one, you no longer need to consider it and two, because you want to explore what you could do with what you’ve already earned, not only from an income point of view, but also from a spiritual and charitable point of view.  There are many possibilities here and although the option to secure your wellbeing and that of your close ones until you pass away has already been looked after and secured, all other options still need much thinking and considerations.  I have no doubt that you will find a prolific solution.

In your past, barren land is represented.  It seems that as a youth, you were not often allowed to shine and/or show any talent as modesty was to key to everything you did.  As a result, life wasn’t always fun and you learned the art of ‘refraining and restraining yourself’ early on.  I don’t know, Yann… do you think this was good or did it stop you enjoying life as much as you would have done had these elements not come into play?

There appears to be a need for much softness and gentleness to be bestowed upon your life for you have suffered more than we, out there, know about.  There is a person of much kindness and generosity around you, one you can rely on and trust.  Seek that person out as this will help you make the decisions you are currently trying to think about with clarity.  Let your hair down a little and let the fun come into your life; let go of how serious it all can be as, as you know so well, it’s all to do with perspective.  Let your inner Richard Parker out and trust that all will be well.

Look, Yann, if you’re looking for peace and quiet to get those thoughts of yours under control as well as discovering new meditating grounds, you always have the option to take a trip somewhere and not tell anyone where you might be, except those very, very close to you and those you care too much about.  I agree, now is not the time to behave like you are in charge and own your life (mind you, you do own parts of your life if you’d care to listen to me a little).  Life is about others and us, and not the reverse.

You are fortunate, my friend, as cards require you to take a leap of faith and do what you want, no matter what.  So if you feel blind and hesitate, just trust that your next step will not be met by a fall and that it will lead to more discoveries and fun.  Do take that trip that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, the one you call a ‘journey of self-discovery’ which would inspire you and open up your world to an even bigger world… the one you don’t like to talk about because it may appear too much like some crisis – in the eyes of others – you may be going through when in fact you know exactly what you want because you’ve been wishing for it for so long.  Hey, Yann, why should you care about what others may think, huh?  Even I, Rosie, sister of Feralbulb-the-Wild, know about dismissing others’ prejudicial beliefs… So I’m a spinster, so I no longer enjoy men’s company, so I tend to despise the numerous local women wearing fur coats and so I slobber a little when I think of eating pancakes.  Remain part of my dying breed of male friends and don’t give a shit!  (There, I said it).

– Over to you, Feralbulb.

Rosie removes the sticky tape from Feralbulb’s mouth.

– Mr. Martel, Yo!  Sorry I couldn’t do this reading for you.  Got caught by me feral sister.  Not sure why she removed the tape since I can only insult her in public: Rosie, you scum sucking bitch! You fucked wriggly worm of hell! You…

Rosie pulls the curtain.

That’s all for today, folks!

– No need to shout, they won’t listen to you ever again, Feralbulb.