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Good Day, Folks!

Before I begin to read for the All-theist of them all, Mr. Christopher Anthony John Martin, ‘CAJM’ for short, born on 2 March 1977, a true-blood fish and true-blue Pisces, you’ll be glad to know that we won’t be interrupted by Rosie, yeah, Man, because she’s flown to Spain while summer still lasts, to be by the sea and to be away from me but not too far from her psychiatrist.  These things happen… I mean, she had it coming: she emptied all the trash from the bins she kept in the backyard to make some compost and spread it all in the kitchen and in my bathroom.  I don’t mind so much about the kitchen but me bathroom’s simply ruined because it is me temple and it’s always squeaky clean, scented and with candles and rose petals everywhere for me meditating time…  So I called her even more names and threw her ‘helpful’ pills in the drain and she went crying to her psychiatrist who sent her on a holiday, all expenses paid by her medical insurance.  Call that a life?

But on with ChrissO MartinO, a devout believer in all forms of Christianhood, Allahobamahood (it might be Allohabummerhood, not sure, you work it out), Buddahdim-didalidom, and the list goes on.

Don’t I love one bright & shiny three cards pull, Mate!  We got the Magician, the Tower and the Empress for you, ChrissO, Sir, and I’m led to believe that there are strong emotional surprises in store coming your way, Man.  There is a powerful sense that all that you have done up until now, artistically as well as at home (when you happen to be there), is going to bear its fruits:  yeah, I admit, I’m not 100% sure what it is but it is a Victory in that it’s going to make you feel ‘rejuvenated’ in that you may renew your vows with Gwyneth-of-the-Pond and, if you’re not married to her, that you will then marry her in a lavish, stately – not unlike your Queen’s weeding – sorry, I meant wedding.  Bear in mind that whatever comes your way, you’re gonna enjoy it, boy O boy!  What if it isn’t lovely Gwyneth that I see by your side?  Well, sorry but I don’t do bad news so if I’m wrong, tough!

Ok, now, Smarty-Marty, it appears that you’ve been going through some hurdles as far as contracts and agreements and all things legal matter and that this is over and you’re now reaping the rewards of tough finance decisions you had to take and you’re wondering exactly what to do with all of that.  Not only this, but it seems that you’re aware that competition is knocking at your door step – what, with so many gifted singers and musicians bursting to get through the hall of the gifted and famous for the long term – and although you know that a lot of them can’t do as well as you’re doing, you’re willing to help some of them and wondering whom to select and give the necessary push to.  It’s nice to see that you’re considering each singer/musician/group in its own right.

Chris, it seems that there at times where you feel you can’t quite ‘feel it’, that your inspiration and intuition have gone out of the window and that you’re not sure how to bring vision again because life loves to take a racy pace at times and bring changes to you that you don’t expect and you fear all those changes going too fast.  Yet change is a good thing as each part of you gets fulfilled with new aspirations and desires and that you must attend to these wishes in order to move forward.  Currently, you can’t afford to look back and ponder for too long over the past.  The advice here is to ‘go with the flow’.

All right, let me insist, Marty-Pants-on-Fire: remember this: ‘what can go wrong will go wrong’.  Now, twist it and think: ‘what can go right will go right’.  Better still: ‘what must go right will go right’.  Got it?  Stop the worrying and let others do the worrying for you and if you still can cook at night, then cook, write more songs, do the dishes (should you not have a dish-washer) and/or have a conversation with a butler.  O, I forgot, get Gweeny-Meeny-Miny-Mo to write songs with you.  Remember: share your passion with your partner and mix it with hers, see what happens and whatever you do, go for it.

So where’s that little bird gone?  You know? The one that whispers and sings music and songs all day long in your head?  Yeah, that one.  I know, you don’t want to take your inspiration from other people’s ideas, you wish to keep your ideas original and create new tunes and songs that no one have ever thought of before, like you’ve always done, but right now you’re not fitting your own shoes and can’t muster a couple of keys that sound different.  I reckon you need some rest and meditation.  I could help you.  I’m good at sending people to any paradisiac dreamland they wish to reach, with or without pills, just ask Rosie (if you must).

Looking at your past, it feels as if you haven’t always had what you wanted as a matter of course.  Not everything came to you on a silver plate – not that you’d have wanted that, but just to make my point – and you’ve had to find opportunities by looking at things in life from a very different perspective.  You’ve always known that you had a gift and although family and friends were always protective of you and understanding, they never saw how you felt and how strongly you felt it then and it may well be that this is why there are times in your life, presently, where you feel the inspiration isn’t here.  I sense that this is because there is a wish that you aren’t given as much as what you need, emotionally, that people around you show more belief in you and perhaps more attention, even if you don’t like to show this need, nor to admit it – to get you to feel and see again, as far as your craft goes.  Trust it, Mate, trust that it is still here, that you still have got it and take a break if you need to, to re-establish the balance between body and soul, and vice versa, you’ll see.

ChrissO, Man, in order to re-balance the universe within you, you can: 1. Call me or 2. Let go of any need to control anything, let go and relax.  Be Zen, be cool!  Yeah, Babe, that’s how.  Take a trip with family or by yourself, be the elephant you can be, hide in a box and land in a foreign country to re-discover yourself.  That’d be good for you, for sure.  I know.  You’ve got anything you need to do what you want, so do it, even if it delays some of your projects.

What you can do, without having to take me advice although you’re gonna get it anyway, is to not think from a place of passion and instincts.  Stop thinking bad thoughts and feel overwhelmed with what could go wrong.  Sure, there are people out there to get you and take all sorts of things away from you, be it possessions or the way you think (I reckon some o’dem wanna steal buttons from your jackets and sell them on auction because they’re fetishists and greedy (not the buttons) and others want to steal your music style and songs and better them), but that’s just because they’re jealous and you needn’t worry about them because no one can match your style and no one can catch up with you.  Yeah, babe (again).  Fuck the silly-sorry worries!

I hear you, when is inspiration and whatever it is you usually use to write songs and music gonna knock back at your door and flow the way it always has?  Easy-peasy, Smarty Chris, when you and your soul mate connect-reconnect again, then all this feeling of hard work and ‘never-gonna-get-there-again’ will disappear.  Mate, it’s all very well to count on Zeus’ inspiration to reach you, but without your heart innit and the support it needs and wants, you might have to work harder at it (Zen, trip and call-me, remember?).  Failing all this, Uri Geller will bend you mind like no other, but this as a last resort.

On another note, I sense that you’ll soon appear on stage along with Sting, Guy Richie, Peter Gabriel, Bono, Gottya, Phil Collins, David Bowie, Mick Jaeger and a few other biggies either to sing for charity or to do some funny movie (style of: Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Hot Fuzz, Shaun of Da Dead, etc.).  So here’s an idea for you: fun script and songs all in one.

Tickets please, you know da drill.