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Good Day, Folks!

Thought I’d please Rosie.  There’s a webcam here.  She can see today’s reading on her computer in the kitchen where she’s still constrained.  Don’t worry, I free her mouth once a day for spaghetti consumption, I clean the dishes and settle her with a Rum-Bacardi for the night.  She’s happy as long as she’s entertained, see?

So today, Ms Hooper, you’ve been bulbed!  I’m reading for you Ms Claire Hooper, you bad, evil and funny Aussie comedian all wrapped in one whose gums and anus tend to recede because you brush them a little too hard, you who lead your life by the motto ‘ignorance is bliss’ and whose tee-shirts give you rashes, preferably to your fiancés (don’t ask, you mentioned it, that’s all).

You’re born on 5 September 1976 and that makes you a funny Virgin, or Virgo or Vatever.  I repeat for the last time: leave me alone, will ya?

Ok.  Claire-Maire (zat’s French, yo!).  Claire, you’re not French but you’re funnier than those damned frogs just over the border, and by far: Rosie and I miss your shows with Grand Sir McDermott because TV reception doesn’t allow them here, fuck it.  Anyway, here are the three cards I drew for ya:

The Fool, the World and the High Priestess

Easy-peasy on that one Claire-de-Lune, you’re seemingly preparing for a big trip, a life changing one as this may be a comedy show world tour, a very successful one at that, although you’re fully aware of the effect this may have on your family life.  You wish you could do things differently but sometimes there’s no real choice but a tough choice to be made.  Life isn’t always easy, yet it’s for the best.  You won’t regret it and you’ll learn that life goes on even for a young family when you’re away from them.  So stop mucking around and get real: do what must be done, enjoy it, and fix things that need fix, if any, upon your return.  One thing’s for sure: the kids will be fine (how many have you got?  Can’t see everything, so what?).  As to partner… tell him to make good use of his patience and to turn into Gandalf the White, that way, you’re all safe.

Well yeah, Claire: sometimes, relationships need to be left aside in order to lead one’s life according to one’s passionate needs and for you, that is your craft.  What I mean here is that what you do leads you and there’s no other way.  Don’t even think about doing something else.  You know that where there’s a will, there’s a way.  Keep going the way you think is best even if it seems overly harsh at times.

Don’t let your success being overshadowed by your guilt and the fear that you don’t deserve it and that there must be a price to pay and that that price will be on your family.  These are undesirable thoughts.  Enjoy life for what it is and for what you make it.  Don’t let worries incapacitate you in any way.

You’re funny Dame-Claire-of-the-land-below.  Now, I know you know this but you’re even funnier than you think you are because of your modesty.  You’re lucky, fortunate and gifted and you are able to handle your craft not only with precision and knowledge but also you know how to improvise to a tick.  Yet, with all this blessed stuff inhabiting you, you don’t wish to show power or have and/or use any power you may have over others to seek attention or make a point.  Rosie loves that stuff and I might even agree with her.  There’s a great future for you to attend still and you can’t and mustn’t give it away for the wrong reasons.  Take a break if you need to think about it but don’t give it up.  Laughter is the only way forward and taking things lightly in the midst of too many horrors is your gift to others.  Keep it that way.  Do visit Europe a little more, we’d love to see you this side of the hemisphere.

Your imagination and sensitivity are about to take you places and there are some expenses highlighted although it doesn’t matter because it seems that you’re willing to let go of some funds in order to get where it is you’re aiming to go and/or seeking to reach.  Now isn’t the time to keep your wallet closed and the releasing of funds is the way forward.

It seems that in the past, you had to let to go of many a ‘someone’ whom you were close to in order to follow your passion.  You didn’t let anyone taint you or bribe you one way or another with riches or emotional blackmail and preferred to follow your own worthy path with honesty and integrity.  Hey, I know what they say down your end Claire-Belle: good on ya, Mate, just bloody good on ya, and that stands here too.

Clearly, and in contradiction to your feeling of having to move forward blind folded, you’re not going anywhere that leads nowhere because you’re very intuitive and if you follow whatever it is that makes you tick, then a brand new opportunity will be offered to you soon.  How could this be possible if you can’t see anything in all that fog?  Trust!  Just trust it.  You’re an artist and just like you know what to do if your mind goes blank on stage, improvise with whatever comes first to your mind and this is your solution.  Failing any trust, trust me, trust Feralbulb-and-blurb, he of the never-never, ‘cause I just know.

Hey, look, Claire, if around you people are embattled and don’t allow you to move forward one way or another, just take a deep breath, listen to what they have to say if it must be done but then don’t linger and don’t become embroiled in their fights else they’ll just stop you in your track for longer than you’d wish for.  Heed this.

As to your next endeavour, it feels like ‘that show’ will have to do with injustice in this world and that, loyal to your breed (the Down-Under lot), you’ll manage to have us laugh about it by twisting and changing sad and desperate worldly patterns with those clever wordy ways of yours and bring sunshine to our tears because there’s nothing else to do and that can be done sometimes and, as you know so well, and one might as well laugh about it.

Hope you enjoyed this reading, Fair-Claire.  And don’t forget, a couple of tickets to your London or Edinburgh show would be good for us, with a seat by Rove and Paul’s side would be just extra-fabulo-deliciously-grand, thanks!