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Good Day, Folks!

How’s life?  Shitty enough?  Welcome aboard its wild train, (if you’re just born), else keep your head out of the window and drive it as fast as you can, there’s no other way…  God bless!

How can one keep up with new comers just out of nappies?  Well, one can’t.  Today, we’re welcoming Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O’Connor, better known as LORDE of the marvellous mountainous swamp beyond the land Down Under.  You are born on 7 November 1996, an almighty powerful and intense Scorpio.  Such a voice, such a face, such youth… Peter Jackson could do well in using your talents in your own home environment.  Me & Rosie, we’re hooked to your voice, pure heroin it is, forgive us the pun.

What da ya know?  Rosie’s pissed off – yeah, what’s new? – let me finish though: she’d wanted to do this reading ‘cause she suggested it to me but she’s taken to the bottle lately, unwittingly (I mixed her daily apple juice with blue cherry and the crushed gummy bears and now there’s no stopping her).  Never mind.  She’s stuck in the kitchen once more, she of the never, never more.

Now, let’s get onto you, Maria-of-the-worldly-wisdom-words, you, young lady drawing Lordly rings of sounds inside our heads.

I drew the following three cards for you:

Empress + Judgement + Moon

There is incredible energy and strength coming out of these cards and the arts, what else? are highlighted in a big way.  It is clear that a lady close to you is constantly empowering you and providing you with suggestions and encouragements of all sorts to enable you to finish your studies and combine it with your burgeoning life as an upcoming and promising singer in your own right.  What I’d like to emphasise to you at this stage, is to keep strong in believing your instincts (which you are already doing in your career as a singer).  I mean here for you to focus on the financing of your earnings… do what you feel is right and trust your mum too… but don’t place too much trust in the ideas and suggestions of the men around you… because should life present you with one or more of its funny/not so funny twists and turns, you’ll be glad to have done your own thing… do what you believe must be done and trust it.  Just a thought, for what it’s worth.  Besides, it’s the cards talking, not me.

Now, moving on to the chore question drawn by such youth and such talent… Well, Miss O’Connor-of-the-Yelish-Lani-Ladida-Land, you of the Royal-Queen-Bee-Who-Might-Be name, fear not for da sun’s shining bright ahead of you.  Let it all out; don’t let anything or anyone stop you from being the new singer we’ve all been waiting for.  Sing songs that speak of truth, let the word out, out there, that tells us it’ll all be all right, even in the dead of night and at the darkest hour.  Sing songs Madiba would have loved to hear (may his soul rest in peace), tell us more about freedom, and never surrendering.  May you be the Captain leading us to our untamed souls!  I make myself cry like a turtle, talking like this.  Fuck.  I don’t need no-one to tell me where to go, thank you.  Where was I?

In your fears, lady-bug-Lorde, yeah… leaving home for ever and being away from it for long periods of time do creep up in your thoughts at times and ya know you’re gonna have to deal with it sooner or later.  Still, don’t let it get to you in any way: everything in its own time.  You’ll grow out of wanting to retreat in the warmth of your nest quicker than you think, as fun surprises delivered by life itself will ask you to act on them and you won’t think twice about not going ahead with what is proposed to you.

Ella, ya know, it’s perfectly fine not to want to get involved emotionally with anyone and be the loving woman some people expect you to be.  It pisses you off and it would piss me off too, with or without dick.  Be yourself, you’ll see, those men whose who suck up to you, (I’m thinking stupid assholes after your know-how and money – men who haven’t yet resorted to the latest medical trend: the growing of extra organs, in particular extra balls, men whose brains are boosted by the recent addendum to what they consider the ‘crown jewels’*), will wither and melt when faced with your talent and will agree anything to accommodate your needs and wants rather than the opposite…  Got it?  Rosie would approve of what I just said so take it in your stride ‘cause I know you’re ‘under age’ for all that stuff but you know I mean you no harm.

For now, all internal and outside influences, good or bad, are not really affecting you.  You are protected from all sides and if there’s any legal battles looming out there (God forbid!), you won’t know about it and/or it’ll all die down pretty quickly as it seems your interests are well protected and you don’t have to deal with it yourself, for now and which opens the path to you’re being free to create without much of a care in the world.

You are fortunate in that you leave in a safe and happy and nurturing environment.

Ella-Miss, you’re strong and you’re very aware of your own power and gift already.  We love you just as you are and if you wish to change how you present yourself on stage, please think twice about it.  Why would you do so?  If it’s to match how you feel you should be doing things, then fine, but if it’s to comply with some big TV douche-bag whose suggestions may feel more like so-called creative endeavours that are for the best of the entertainment industry, then run a mile from it, don’t be scared, everyone wants a piece of you and as I said before, trust your instincts.

I suggest that you don’t sit, think and linger for too long about what you should or should not do.  Grab life by its horns and have a dance, there’s no stopping you, not now, it’s far too early.

Look, I must reiterate: grab the opportunities only YOU love and that feel right for you, not the ones that appear all glossy and shiny.  That way, you’ll know exactly what to do, how to do it and you can implement your own creativity as you like it and as the Gods out there and in your head intend it for you.

Hope you enjoyed this reading.


PS: Rosie and I would be thrilled and honoured to see you live, so… you know the drill by now, right?  Here ‘tis again, just in case: send us a couple of tickets PLEASE, wherever that may be.  We’ll be there, no shit.

*Even I, Feralbulb, tarot reader exceptional and man in my own heart (this is open to interpretation), can count the great men of this world on less than just one hand, I admit.