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Good Day Folkeys !

How’zit going ?  Ya, me good, me very good thanks.  Rosie says hi.  She’s back in the kitchen, no need to tie her up on her chair any more, she’s happy to have the dogs to eat spaghettis with her.  And if you must know, she’s been battling phone rage all week long, is having recurring nightmares about her last employer and she’s lost it again, so she’s still better locked up in the kitchen, right?  Enough of Rosie.

Today, we’re dealing with Susan Jane Gilman, a fun writing writer who writes – don’t look at me in this way will, ya? – funny words, sentences and stories.  Yes, she mixes the letters of the alphabet in a bag, pulls them out of the bag until ‘pop’, here’s a book; she’s successful at it.  According to her, if you don’t want to be a writer and that you’re a masochist, you’d better be a taxidermist (a taxidermist is a taxi driver who specifically focusses on carrying dermatologists in his taxi, you ignorant fool).  Anyway, Susan here was born after 1960 because she’s been told to say so and which leaves the door open to interpretation: which year are you really born into, not to mention what day and month?  Predictably, I’m gonna tell ya when you’re born and of what sign your halo is made of.  You’re born in 1973 ¾ which makes you a Crustacean of the three quarter era.  It’s complicated, sorry.  You’ll need to study astrology.

Ok, on with our reading:

Hmm.  You’re feeling a little stuck in spite of all your inspired wisdom, Jane?  Is Tarzan suffering from withdrawal symptoms?  Did he turn into a cheetah again, leaving you out in the cold with his oozy boogers & bugsome communication manners?  What communication? What boogers?  He is a wild man after all.  Don’t you forget that, just as good a girl as you may be.  Left you with your hair standing on end, huh?  Hey, forget it, accept him as he is, you being the good girl means you’re allowing yourself to let the wild girl/woman within to say and behave the way she wants to.  See?  I’m open minded to women’s ways but just don’t mention Rosie, will ya?  Anyways, it’ll get better again, Susan, just ride that wave and concentrate on your activities, that’s all there is to it.

The heart of your question today is, I feel, how to be inspired and get there all the way to the top and write bestsellers and become a radiant and irradiating writer?  I ask what I think you’d ask because I know the answer: you’re soon gonna be spectacularly very noticeable and famous, in the way you wannit to be (see, there’s a point in forgetting Tarzan).  Some new book of yours is lurking in the dark as it is being written right now or just about to be published and it’s gonna be a dream, much better than you think and than what you’ve done in the past, so forget Tarzan, I insist.  Besides, your gift of the gab izgonna (it’s faster that way) take you places you don’t even expect to reach.

What worries you at times is the hard work: you don’t seem to see the end of it.  Well, welcome to the writers’ world.  Writing 34/24 is common.  Don’t give up, that’s all there is to say.  And just because you have too much work to tend to doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself and have fun.

Yes, such workload as your means you can’t take on every opportunity that knocks at your colourful (yours is) jelly container, that wooden skull of yours, so please listen: be careful what work you choose to do and be very selective and all will be well.

In your past we have some seemingly contradictory lines coming through (what lines?  The ones I imagine, get it?) and just as much as great love and altruistic endeavours are emphasised, battles and petty arguments have had to be confronted and dealt with on a constant basis.  May be that’s why.  May be that’s why you got the right combination: love and battles: makes for a great sense of humour, especially that of satire.

Currently, your life is calling on you to provoke the necessary upheaval it is expecting and you may have to end a relationship that is going nowhere.  I mean if my understanding is correct here as it’s a bit fuzzy (not my head, the cards are fuzzy).

You don’t have to travel anywhere at the moment if you don’t want to and if you need to take that break to ponder, wonder and wander, then do so ‘cause now is the right time, Suzy, and ‘cause I’m telling you.

Me advice to you today is therefore to be bold, and to keep the creativity going big way.  Focus on your work and do what you know best.  Forget about relationships or their potential at the moment.  It’ll improve again, but not now.  Hey, good girls don’t cry over toad* material, just remember.

All right, as to your next book, the great one that’s gonna put you up there along with the greatest writers of all time and which you’re gonna send me signed even before it is published, it’s gonna be sooooooooo gooooood.  I wanna believe it, dontcha?  Feels sweet and cool: enjoy it, just like ice cream!  Anyways, this book’s gonna be about someone who doesn’t want to live life thinking and who acts before he/she thinks, nothing new but the way you’re gonna describe it is what I’m waiting for, along with everyone else.  May be you’re gonna base that story on some real life event?

I hope you enjoyed this reading, Suzy, Ma’am.


*Toad = ten times the size of a frog and ten times uglier.  Has the inherent and perfectly functional inability to turn into a prince.