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Howdy Folks!

Today, once more, we’re going to peacefully read cards for Sloane Crosley, a Leo b-b-b-born on 3rd August 1978.  I say p-p-p-peacefully ‘cause Rosie’s got visitors in the kitchen so if you’re not into peace making and that you’d rather have some bottles smashed on my floor, then go read another blog or smash your own bottles at your place.

Now, Ms Sloane of the Wish-I-Could-Have-that-Cake-Star.  It’s come to my attention that there’s nothing more you enjoy than a having friends defecate on your bathroom floor and to discuss the philosophical implications resulting from it.  Not only this, you’d be willing to test a potential lover’s liveliness by poking him in the eye with something sharp (I hear the word ‘stab in the eyeballs’ were the words you used but I didn’t want to frighten the readers here as we both know that men’s eyeballs are mostly found between their legs – hence the expression ‘keep your eye on the ball’ in any ball sports, right?)

Three cards for ya, missa:

Hanged Man – Justice – Moon

Cough.  Cough again.  Clearing throat.  Right.  Miss Crosley, Ma’am.  You’re putting up a brave face because your life hasn’t been that funny and you’ve recently experienced a ‘freeze’ period where it didn’t matter what you did or didn’t do, nothing seemed to go your way.  You’ve kept going and from a writing perspective, all is going well and you’re going strong here.  But the people around you, they’ve been giving you a hard time – undeservedly so and very much one-sided – that’s ok, you’re dealing with it in your own way and this may be through a team of lawyers defending your rights and setting things clear and definite.  This stems from one person doing a U-turn on you and being an idiot, one whose eyeballs have shifted in some darker place, some dark hole behind them.  Don’t worry, this brings on a new relationship with someone better suited to you, like cream on that cake you haven’t had yet.

Here you are Sloane, your heart turned upside down and wondering where you should go crawling in hiding.  You silly woman!  I say this because you know that you know better and I know that you know that you know better and therefore take that plane, that car, that spaceship, whatever and seek the fun you deserve.  The moodiness crept up because of what you went through.  It’ll all go back to normal once you realise you should look after yourself and that someone nice is just around the corner.

You fear your imagination and your thoughts dragging you down.  Yet, you’re wise, knowledgeable and very intuitive.  Trust yourself, let the bad dreams go by you and don’t let the fears get the better of you; besides, creamy cakes are good for you and you know this.  May I remind you what you once said through the voice of another: “I prefer to record all traumas and save them for later, playing them over and over so they can haunt me for a disproportionate number of weeks to come. It’s very healthy.”  Don’t live by it, detach yourselves from your characters at times, it can only give you some perspective.  Who said you live through your characters?  No idea, dunno, stop looking at me.

Fine, you’re going through hard times and that failed relationship squashed your hopes and dreams like there might not be enough cake & cream around for you to compensate.  Hey, Ms Sloane, don’t wallow in it, the bleedin’ bleeding has stopped and you can function.  Move on.  Plant a few useful words in your head and live by them for a few seconds, days or weeks.  Besides, you’re not single since after all you have yourself, haven’t you?  Live by your smart, wise sarcasms and it’ll sort itself out.

Your past shows great and close to unmanageable creativity ‘cause it came out of you bursting in bulk: not only your relatives and friends found it difficult to live with but you found it complicated and hard to explain.  You’ve also had to face some harsh realities as there may have been times when you were widely misunderstood and people around you unwilling to help and/or listen to you.

Currently and strangely enough, you are urged not to take any hasty decisions and to focus on your work like there’s no tomorrow.  I feel you may have a deadline coming up and you need to put your head down and ignore all that is happening around you even if I suggested travelling earlier.

Chaos is a great source of inspiration for you: use it.  When your life seems to be unravelling (even though it is not, I assure you), use its bumps and unexpected knocks to let your imagination run free, wild and uncomplicated.  Even dreams and nightmares come into play: if they wake you up, get up and write about them ‘cause that’s part of who you are and it’ll calm your nerves for the time being.  You’ll make cash and draw attention from these simple facts too.

Me advice to you, Darling, is to focus on what you’ve already achieved and consider what else it is you wanna do.  You’ve done well even if your present appears to be telling you otherwise.  It’s just an unwelcome patch, we all have them, don’t give it more attention than it deserves, keep spirited and the good work going.  Don’t make any changes to your life right now, just live in the moment and let life nudge you to the forged road ahead of you (free will?  What free will?)

Your next book will be talking about the variety of men you may have met in your life or, if it isn’t about you, about a female character describing her various encounters with men who commit and suck at it and who can’t ever reach the nice tattoo status.  No romance, only a wish for it and the realisation that being in a relationship with herself is probably the best outcome.  Well, call me.  We can always discuss your perceptions once you’ve sent me and Rosie the book.

Hope you enjoyed the reading.