WES ANDERSON

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Howdy Folks!

How are you going, kids?  Today, we’re going straight on to our subject since, as you know, Rosie’s busy and there won’t be any spooky disturbances of a third kind on her part.  This is about Grand Sir Wes Anderson who is a shining Taurus Moonrise mostly spotted in the Budapest constellation.  Why am I not talking about a woman when a post about one is due?  Well, for one, because I’m too excited and honoured to ramble on about Royal Wes and second, because it’s women’s international week and they’re getting all the attention they need already.  You did ask.

Righteo, now: Wes Anderson-Son, you’re born on 1st May 1969 as you might have realised by now and you’re the rising and shining star of my new found cinematic horizons.  I’ve startled to dig holes around my streets through my pacing in circles, longing for your next movie to be born, your next quote and whatever it is you might come up with.

So, on to you Anderson, Man.  Three cards:

Temperance – Fool – Pope

Wes, Man, a firm decision must be taken.  It’s all right to think and weigh in the pros and cons for a while but not for too long.  Indecision is the mother of un-creativity and this is where the fool steps in for you: do something, do what feels right and nothing will go wrong.  Be fair and be generous at it too.  Finance is no trouble so do what must be done and get to stay together (you know what I mean).  Besides, uniting your longing soul with another may reveal more fruitful than you imagine and if your imagination felt sufficiently spurred until now, be ready for even more and better to come along.  You’re ready to spend for the sake of creativity too, regardless of the outcome, and so be it: explore worlds within worlds within worlds and let us enjoy it to the full extent of your untamed, unbridled and unstoppable creativity.

There is a very interesting conflict, a permanent state of tension within you which generates your talent: it combines a cool and collected intellect with that of a prominent instinctual, intuitive and powerful imagination that deals with both: the beauty of the picture and the indescribable yet unmistakable recognisable scripts you generate.  I see no rifts between these distinctive parts alive within you and all that needs done is to keep the communication lines open within, from one to the other, but this you know how to handle. (Do check out John Cleese’s inspirational speech on creativity at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU5x1Ea7NjQ ).  Also, your current partner or that person closest to you is being represented as being the intellectual driving force within your couple and you shouldn’t ignore her ideas, even if seemingly a little out of your own world at times.

Hey Wes, Mate, obviously you’re taking on more than you can chew, workwise.  Yes, you’re on demand and you’re the man of the day and more. May be there’s another way to tackle your work load and this may involve delegating even more and trusting that those around you can get into your head to do what you expect done.  Yes, expect others to be slightly psychic to get your work done and details will work themselves out.

Now that the pressure is on for you to outperform yourself, you might find that your work demands get the better of you at times and if so, as I’ve said to many a creative soul before, take a rest, breath in, breath out and levitate of all your might or pay me a visit with a couple of tickets and you’ll be sure to get the flowing wine to unwind your soul.  Yeah, I do mean it, what you taking me for?  What ya waiting for anyway?

In your past, Wes (hey by the way, no offense meant, you know what I’m like, Wes-Man, was the particle ‘Wes’ given to you in order to increase the chance of your being more creative?  I mean Wes is kind of short, you know?  It implies that another particle must follow after it quickly, such as Wesboy, Wesley or Wes’it (=i.e. Where’s Wes?).  In particular, it implies that some more must come after it and that one’s imagination is triggered in filling the gap, to be sure, to be sure.  Where was I? Here: your past is represented as your having been unsure where to thread and strongly suggesting your meditative states as being a driving force in your creativity.

Sir Anderson, father of the Lobby Man, of the best inspired Zero I’ve ever come across, the cards seem to suggest you ought to be craftier in your endeavours.  I mean you ought to quietly, in a sneaky manner, overcome some obstacles by not showing you know what is going on and deal with it your own way, not attracting attention onto yourself and do what must be done in order to avoid fights and keep the peace within, whatever this means to you.

Going for you are your competitiveness and your inherent wisdom which, unlike mine makes you think before you speak and/or act.  Don’t be paranoid though, just be yourself and be enterprising in what you enjoy doing without worrying more than necessary about what your competitors may be saying and doing.

Like many an artist I’ve read for before you, me advice to you at this point in time is to take a break, take a trip and you’ll find your energy renewed to its best, and that very soon.

Finally, about your next movie: it’s gonna go from mad to madder, from ‘Lynchian’ if you’ll allow me the comparison, to far more cryptic than that.  It will be totally aloof and steeped into unreality.  You’ll endeavour to mix and match what is and what is not to great effect and this may well be the next stage for you: one where confusion reigns and interpretation of what is shown is free for all to toy with.  It’ll be a lot moodier than what you’ve done up until now and will be more like a representation of some cautionary, mysterious tale.  Do send us a ticket, will ya, wontcha and P-P-PL-EASE?

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

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BRUNO MARS

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Good Day, Folkeys!

Haaaa…  March.  Spring on this side of the planet.  Rosie has already switched to autumn but then, she’s who she is and that’s that.  We’re gonna have peace from Rosie you and I for da next two months: she’s packing up dust in large boxes: one speck of dust per box to be sure, to be sure.  It might cost a rocket, a packet and a fucket.  Who cares since she’s paying.

Today, we’re gonna visit shot-to-stardom-speck-of-star, Sir Peter Gene Hernandez.  Da ‘Buzz-Dez’ man of da day, also known as Bruno Mars, born on 8 October 1985, an airy monkey-head of the Libran constellation of Liberty.  Yes, you got it right man: he’s the one who put the Statue of Liberty where it is now, but don’t get me distracted.

Here are three cards for you, Bruno-Mate:

Well, with this combination, Mr. Men-are-from-Mars, it seems your life is taking a turn in an unexpected way.  There are changes, rapid changes taking place and you meet this woman (or she’s here already, right on your doorstep knocking) and she sweeps you off your feet – o’course women have been known to do this… it’s 2014, remember? – besides, women are witches, they’ve got ways of drawing rings around you without you ever knowing how and why – but they never seek me fortunately: I’m an ugly sort with reduced, shrunk body parts and it suits and serves me well.  So, if you thought your love life wasn’t going anywhere where you wanted it to go and if you felt that these fans were not fit to match your romantic songs’ material, then beware and be prepared: there’s da One coming and she’ll be there and everywhere and before you know it, you won’t be able to do anything without her or be anywhere without her.  Oooooo… sweet, sweet, sweet luv.  She’s da One for you, da One before the next.  Huh?  All righty, don’t worry; it’s all good in spite of my sarcasms.

I guess your big question for now is when will you feel like you’ve come home and that your well-deserved breakthrough as far as relationships are concerned will come upon you, Bruno-Man?  I reckon you need to keep grounded and give yourself some breathing space from work.  Just a few minutes per day, you’ll see.  You’ll sit on that chair for a break and ‘there will stood this beautiful honey with a beautiful body’ (Craig David,  Seven Days) will appear and you’ll want to repeat the experience again and again and again to the extent that seven days won’t be enough…  and you might opt for more repeats as in Ground Hog Day or in Fifty First Dates.

You seem to fear that you’re not moving forward and that family and friends and musicians (they’re a special breed) take all your time and that you can’t possibly fit in time for yourself and that you can’t meet that special soul of the never-never-really.

There’s no need to consider having to go away from it all to escape from your daily work burden.  There are other ways around it and you know it.  Give your thoughts a thought and revisit them in a more spirited way.  Get a rest/some sleep, it may be all what you need.

Strangely and interestingly too, although your past shows great creativity, (duh), there seems to have been a time when you felt very much defeated and I have trouble interpreting why.  Perhaps you feared being defeated so much that you overcame the odds by never being defeated.  Makes sense?  Nope.  Is there an astrophysicist in the room?  Never mind.

Currently, you need to defeat the enemy using evil and perfidious ways, in other words, be a two-faced bastard, just as awful and difficult this may sound – I can advise you about it if you write to me enclosing two tickets for one of your concerts (who’s a two-faced box jelly fish now?).  Don’t let the sooth-sayers and any interested party look after your wellbeing because with all their best intentions at heart, they’re doing the opposite.  Do what you feel you wanna do and must do, be it take that break and sip some silicon syrup on a chair so that you can meet that fated encounter I told ya about earlier.

Right now, let go of those who don’t have your best interest at heart even if they say so.  You’ll never lose everything ‘cause there always will be the friendship of your close family and friends with you as well as your soon to be better half.

Me last advice to you Bruno-Marzipan, is not to be too sweet.  Be prepared and walk da walk by not being overcome and overwhelmed by things which you think you can’t control when you actually can.  Put the business crown on your artist head and all will be well.

Me theory on your next album is that it’ll be all about love and sweet-things-sweet and that you might produce it all by yourself and not let those who tried to take your business away have any stake innit.  Besides, you’ll be surrounded by the pink halo of luv and all will be well.  Haaa.  Hmm.  Sweet.  Hem.

Hope you enjoyed your reading.

Feralbulb

RIHANNA

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Heya Folks!

It’s that time of the week again: the one when I give that free reading for a celebrity while Rosie, still in the kitchen, concentrates on readings for the commoners, like you folks.  Here goes my modesty.  Who said I had any?  So if you must know and may be this will help you swallow the dreaded harsh reality pill: I’m not the one getting paid for what I do, Rosie is.  What’s da point then I hear you ask.  May be I get spotted as da best celebrity psychic and start earning a fortune?  Nope?  You don’t believe in me?  Well, my friend: be gone.  Yes, go and wallow in your brown gooey stuff.  Hate me as much as you like, you’re just another voice in me head.  Rosie!  Will you stop the dogs barking and let me concentrate on Miss Fenty’s reading? Gee, all that noise.

Ok, folks, sorry if I’m not pleasant today.  Just read on.  May be you’ll find some enjoyment.  Today, I’m reading for Miss Fenty, also known as Rihanna of the Robyn-hood round table.  Yes her, da beautiful lady, born 20 February 1988 – an Aquarian-missa, gifted and too big for me small me even considering doing a reading for.  But here you go.  I’ve gathered some bravado and drawn three cards:

Hanged Man + Devil + Moon

Cough.  Hmm.  Cough.  Miss, with all due respect, I think you should reconsider some work arrangements and not be trusting of some person(s) within your circle of close friends.  You actually can see very clearly through this and you need to act on it even if you don’t enjoy having to have that talk and face a battle head on.  Don’t let it get to you.  Remember: you’re free to think and act as you will so don’t let another person influence you on your projects.  You need to believe in your projects, they are a reality soon knocking at your door.

You may currently be in an introspective mood as you feel the need to stay out of the limelight and seek inspiration.  It is really important to withdraw from the world at times to seek some form of enlightenment to let your new ideas come to the surface like bubbles, unaltered by outside external influences.  You like to be creative?  So be it.

Such is life: be blessed child: how to get into a deeper relationship with a loved one when you can’t see an end to your work load.  Errr.  What can I say: break a contract, don’t let those around you dictate what must be done if all you want to do is eat pop-corns and strawberries with your current or soon to be boyfriend while watching Michael Jackson do its best to scare you as a Were-woof-woof.  I think you have too much respect for your work.  Be free and open your heart to your youth and the man-to-be in your life if you need to.

Quite tellingly, I feel that you’re soon might be choosing to break free from the music industry for a while, even if this means letting go of some lucrative contracts and seeking an army of lawyers to defend your choice and human needs.

Rihanna, Ma’am, your past shows as having been uncontrollable at times, unmanageable but that you, as a queen of upper creativity escaped unscathed from it all except when, like we’ve seen earlier, you feel the urge to break free and be a normal lay person in the same manner Lady Gaga might wish to do sometime.  Know what I mean?  No, I’m no example, Rosie is and so are her dogs (they do behave like humans: they bark when they want to, they sleep on a normal bed and no one expects them to poop outside the flat even though they do).

Ha!  Ha!  What did I say?  I feel very strongly now that you’re going to bring the necessary changes to let yourself be charmed by life and by what you need most: a lovely relationship that makes you feel as if you’d never sung before and like you’ve had a fresh coat of paint and the plumbing sorted out.  There’s definitely a frog-to-be-turned-into-prince around you and he shall enter your scene within the next six months.  You’ll let me know about it, wontcha?

I’d advise you to listen to the advice of a creative and very positive man around you who might help you make the choice you have in mind – but won’t admit to immediately – as only this man is sincere.  It’s easy, when and if you wish to break free to live a normal life for a little while, there’s only one man who will help you and encourage you towards that decision.  Anyone telling you the opposite and not truly listening to you in that way is to be ignored.  All righty, Ma’am? (and if you ever happen to think I might be this man, and even though I’d be overly flattered since I don’t qualify as a man, beware: I’m merely the fruit of virtual hallucinatory project).

Rihanna-na, be prepared for the newcomer in your life.  With him come the changes you don’t dare to expect at this point in time, shall I say any more?  That’s all here. BE PREPARED.

As to your next endeavour, I gladly announce that there’ll be none except that you’ll take the necessary time off to live the life you actually own to be yourself, enjoy your relationship and ponder about what your next step might be.  You’ll feel like the Good Girl Gone Gooder.  Enjoy.

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

PS: A couple of tickets for me and Rosie before you give it all up for the greater good would go a long way in making us feel like we’re wanted as your audience.  Please?  Thank you.

SUSAN JANE GILMAN

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Good Day Folkeys !

How’zit going ?  Ya, me good, me very good thanks.  Rosie says hi.  She’s back in the kitchen, no need to tie her up on her chair any more, she’s happy to have the dogs to eat spaghettis with her.  And if you must know, she’s been battling phone rage all week long, is having recurring nightmares about her last employer and she’s lost it again, so she’s still better locked up in the kitchen, right?  Enough of Rosie.

Today, we’re dealing with Susan Jane Gilman, a fun writing writer who writes – don’t look at me in this way will, ya? – funny words, sentences and stories.  Yes, she mixes the letters of the alphabet in a bag, pulls them out of the bag until ‘pop’, here’s a book; she’s successful at it.  According to her, if you don’t want to be a writer and that you’re a masochist, you’d better be a taxidermist (a taxidermist is a taxi driver who specifically focusses on carrying dermatologists in his taxi, you ignorant fool).  Anyway, Susan here was born after 1960 because she’s been told to say so and which leaves the door open to interpretation: which year are you really born into, not to mention what day and month?  Predictably, I’m gonna tell ya when you’re born and of what sign your halo is made of.  You’re born in 1973 ¾ which makes you a Crustacean of the three quarter era.  It’s complicated, sorry.  You’ll need to study astrology.

Ok, on with our reading:

Hmm.  You’re feeling a little stuck in spite of all your inspired wisdom, Jane?  Is Tarzan suffering from withdrawal symptoms?  Did he turn into a cheetah again, leaving you out in the cold with his oozy boogers & bugsome communication manners?  What communication? What boogers?  He is a wild man after all.  Don’t you forget that, just as good a girl as you may be.  Left you with your hair standing on end, huh?  Hey, forget it, accept him as he is, you being the good girl means you’re allowing yourself to let the wild girl/woman within to say and behave the way she wants to.  See?  I’m open minded to women’s ways but just don’t mention Rosie, will ya?  Anyways, it’ll get better again, Susan, just ride that wave and concentrate on your activities, that’s all there is to it.

The heart of your question today is, I feel, how to be inspired and get there all the way to the top and write bestsellers and become a radiant and irradiating writer?  I ask what I think you’d ask because I know the answer: you’re soon gonna be spectacularly very noticeable and famous, in the way you wannit to be (see, there’s a point in forgetting Tarzan).  Some new book of yours is lurking in the dark as it is being written right now or just about to be published and it’s gonna be a dream, much better than you think and than what you’ve done in the past, so forget Tarzan, I insist.  Besides, your gift of the gab izgonna (it’s faster that way) take you places you don’t even expect to reach.

What worries you at times is the hard work: you don’t seem to see the end of it.  Well, welcome to the writers’ world.  Writing 34/24 is common.  Don’t give up, that’s all there is to say.  And just because you have too much work to tend to doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself and have fun.

Yes, such workload as your means you can’t take on every opportunity that knocks at your colourful (yours is) jelly container, that wooden skull of yours, so please listen: be careful what work you choose to do and be very selective and all will be well.

In your past we have some seemingly contradictory lines coming through (what lines?  The ones I imagine, get it?) and just as much as great love and altruistic endeavours are emphasised, battles and petty arguments have had to be confronted and dealt with on a constant basis.  May be that’s why.  May be that’s why you got the right combination: love and battles: makes for a great sense of humour, especially that of satire.

Currently, your life is calling on you to provoke the necessary upheaval it is expecting and you may have to end a relationship that is going nowhere.  I mean if my understanding is correct here as it’s a bit fuzzy (not my head, the cards are fuzzy).

You don’t have to travel anywhere at the moment if you don’t want to and if you need to take that break to ponder, wonder and wander, then do so ‘cause now is the right time, Suzy, and ‘cause I’m telling you.

Me advice to you today is therefore to be bold, and to keep the creativity going big way.  Focus on your work and do what you know best.  Forget about relationships or their potential at the moment.  It’ll improve again, but not now.  Hey, good girls don’t cry over toad* material, just remember.

All right, as to your next book, the great one that’s gonna put you up there along with the greatest writers of all time and which you’re gonna send me signed even before it is published, it’s gonna be sooooooooo gooooood.  I wanna believe it, dontcha?  Feels sweet and cool: enjoy it, just like ice cream!  Anyways, this book’s gonna be about someone who doesn’t want to live life thinking and who acts before he/she thinks, nothing new but the way you’re gonna describe it is what I’m waiting for, along with everyone else.  May be you’re gonna base that story on some real life event?

I hope you enjoyed this reading, Suzy, Ma’am.

Feralbulb

*Toad = ten times the size of a frog and ten times uglier.  Has the inherent and perfectly functional inability to turn into a prince.

GEORGE SAUNDERS

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Good Day, Folks!

How’s life today?  Me?  I?  Oh, thanks for asking.  Too good.  Yeah.  Truly.  Almost perfect… were it not for Rosie having adopted two stray dogs and deciding she’d take them with us to Ozland.  Honestly!  They’ve got though quarantine requirements down there.  One extraneous, superfluous wandering flee found in that fur of them doggies and it’s shoot to kill.  Yeah, precisely: flees and dogs.  There might be tears.

But hey, what does it matter since today we’re gonna do a reading about George Saunders, born 2 December 1958, a bow bending Sagittarian, fortunate, crack-the-crust-of-the-earth engineer converted to and mutated into a mind-bending writer, yeah, that breed that vomits words day in, day out and transforms their characters into caramel by cooking them after they’ve melted in the rain, them being made of sugar, a true hallucinatory fact.  Just do your research.

Righteo.  The cards drawn for you today, Georgey are:

Moon – Death – Strength:

It seems that you’ve been working very hard at your craft and that you need to slow down a little and take a break as you may be suffering from minor ailments such as general tiredness, aching bones and some sleep disorder.  Ah those long nights being inspired by your wild imagination and the stillness of your room, with an – illusionary or not – cigarette at the tip of your lips, there is a price to pay.  Is there a solution, a magical recipe?  Do consider long walks, good food and good bier, yeah.  ‘Cause thinking leads to more thinking and sometimes one’s brain waves get all muddled up and not producing the kind of thoughts that should be resulting from such valorous pondering.  It’s ok, do what must be done but try not to overdo it.  That’s all for these cards.

Hey, Sir S-S-S-Saunders: there’s no place like home.  You could have written this.  The Wizard of Oz I mean (hey, why not create a new, funnier version of it?)  You need and feel like you can only produce your best work when you’re home, within the smugness and warmth of family/friends around you and your preferred four walls.  This creates spontaneous youthfulness and fun ideas that help you be more productive.

However, the maintaining of relationships and spending time with those you love and like creates fear within you as you worry that time not spent in writing is counter-productive.  It creates conflict within you as you do sincerely value your relationships and you know all too well that once people are gone from your life, there’s no turning back whereas writing will always appear in some book here and there and behind a computer screen.  Aaah those Faustian writers’ choices: to love mortals for as long as it lasts or chose immortality of pen and paper?

Interestingly, there are times where you feel you enjoy threading on the unknown and experimenting.  Let the thinking and thinkers critic with all their might, you can’t stop it anyway, but letting your instincts take over and walking blind can be fun for you.  It opens possibility and once you’ve followed what you feel, often, you find yourself on top of that hill where you can allow your vision to scan the almost perfect infinity of the horizon.

Currently, Sir Saund-Ers, it seems as if nothing very new is happening on the relationship front but you’re not looking for this anyway.  You seem more interested in seeking the spiritual world to explore it.  It frightens you a little as it is a very powerful world from which there’s much to be learned and where some energies require protection from.  You understand much already and if you keep going that way, no doubt you’ll find more of the answers you seek.

It seems that life and its passionate ways wasn’t always kind to you, but that you’ve learned to harness those wild feelings and emotions that used to motivate you and that weren’t as inspiring as you’d hoped they’d be.  Now you know that stillness and the perfect calm of your room can bring the clarity you require to think about the instinctive nature of man and wild, out of control emotions.

Currently, your best bet for inspiration comes from unexpected people coming into your life, as well as unexpected events and actions that occur around you, and you meditating about it.

There is presently some new success being highlighted: enjoy it, you’re entitled to it even if this means not spending as much time with your close ones as you wish, once again.  And in case you wonder, just remember: your mission is to write and therefore reaping the benefits/profits from it is your entitlement as it provides you and others with proper leaving conditions and you do deserve to allow yourself the occasional pat on the back.  C’mon, leave your modesty in the cupboard for today.

Your next book, I think, and may I ask for a copy of it before I forget? Please? – might focus on friendships without emotional entanglements (read toxicity) nor any other forms of copulation (there might be more than one, I know not much about it… should I?) where the two characters realise at the end of their lives or at the end of the road (any road) that they can’t be without each other.  Sweet.  See George?  This combines your need to spend time with those you love with your writing, dontcha think?

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

SOFIA COPPOLA

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Good Day, Folks!

I agree: it smells like shit in here but what can you do?  Give Rosie some space and she gives us some back in return.  Can’t complain.  Never mind the 15 stray dogs she’s saved from the gutter wandering about.  No really, I don’t mind.  Hope you don’t either.  Besides, can you even smell anything?  Honestly.

Today, I’m reading for Sofia Carminator Domino Coppola born 14 May 1971, astro-sign: Taureador from the far far away Taurean constellation.  Fancy parents choosing names like these.  Fine with Sofia and with Coppulostic but Carminator?  Anyone with an explanation? (write to me)

Three cards for you, Ma’am: Justice + Tower + Judgment

No doubt about it: drama is the theme since last week.  With these cards, I feel you ought to keep going as you’re going until it hits you.  What hits you?  Well, a combination of small things that evolves into bigger things.  What exactly?  Gee, you ask too many questions.  Just try and make sense, surely there must be a selection of situations you can apply what I just told you, no?  It’s easy, really, listen:  with Justice, keep spirited even if you feel things aren’t currently going your way on the home front.  There’s no point in wondering and imagining.  Let it happen, it’s coming your way anyway (the Tower): it’s gonna hit you at work.  I mean, you’ll learn about it while you’re busy working on some stage.  You won’t feel too good about it but you’ll apply strength and willpower by remaining at your workplace and carry on as if nothing had happened even though, well, even though your heart may be broken.  Fortunately, the incredibly strong woman within will surge in power and make whatever decision needs to be made.  Travel will be considered.  You’ll want perspective on the whole fucked bug of a matter.  You don’t like to take some decisions…  don’t hesitate for too long and move on.  That’s all I have to say here.

It seems the main issue at stake are your hesitations.  What’s best to do?  To act or not to act?  To move on or to stay and swallow the damned pill?  Don’t get lost in translating what I’m trying to tell you.  You know what I’m transmitting to you here.  Read between the lines.  Be one of Rushdie’s midnight children and deal with it.  Right?

C’mon now, Domino, Domine, In Nomine Patris et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.  Follow your gut and if you feel blind and unable to see what the path is, just follow your gut.  And yes, indeed, it involves going out of the beaten track and not following conventional patterns.  That’s nothing new to you, why the drama?  C’mon Ma’am, when the time comes, just remember what I told you here.

What’s more, please remember not to brush things off under the carpet and carry on as if nothing happened by concentrating on your work as the burden will be too heavy for you to carry.  Sort out this personal business first and work hard if you wish but don’t work at the expense of your personal life at time of crisis.  Besides, you wanna look after your health too and consider taking some rest when it becomes necessary.  You’ll thank me: you’ll send me a couple of tickets for the premiere of your next movie release, wontcha?

Listen now, Sofia-Bella, look out for the young and the beautiful (and I don’t mean your own kids), look out for small cash that slips out of attention too.  Once you’ve spotted these elements around you, you’ll be better prepared.

It seems that in your recent past, you’ve wished to show more presence at home but that you’ve been unable to because of your work commitments and this is creating anxiety and working on your mind quiet frequently.

Currently, you don’t need to travel too far and you can attend to local business.  Also, there is great energy around you.  You feel as if you are the one feeling energetic and/or you have friends around you who are not only full of beans but who bring a very refreshing and welcome approach to life in your surroundings and you should take care to spend time with them.

Me best advice today, Carmelita, is to lay low and wait until this wave (say six months) has gone by and you’ve recovered from its powerful pull.  Presently, it is recommended that you be a mere observer of your life and see how it unfolds.  You have control over your work arena, but not so much of it at home, so take good care of yourself, lovely.

Quite tellingly, for your next movie, we have one which will deal with deception and the unjust resolution being brought to it.  The innocent becomes the criminal.  You’ll recreate an illusionary world with many a reality being unreal and vice-versa, bringing a pinch of David Lynch into the concoction: a weird and not quite wonderful world.  Zat’s it for today!

Hope you enjoyed this reading, Ma’am.

Feralbulb

WOODY ALLEN

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Good Day, Folks!

Today’s reading is that of Allan Stewart Konigsberg, born on 1st December 1935, a mouthful of a name for a man of low height whose work is that of a GIANT.  Jupiter musta been aligned in some healthy configuration to endow Allen-Woody-Man with so many gifts and loves.

First of all, don’t you worry: Rosie is on a mission to save stray dogs in the area.  It’s her new goal, her new lease on life and now that she’s got her return ticket to Oz, she should be giving us some space and peace.

So, Wood-Knock-Man, here your three cards for today:

Devil – Tower – Justice

These are very strong cards to get together you know?  Dramatic.  Powerful.  Life altering.  Fortunately, drawing minor arcana cards on top of them mellows the outcome, else I’d be concerned and not do this reading.  Clearly, there is an issue at stake in your life which requires all your strength and passionate involvement in order to sort it out.  It has legal implications.  Stick to your beliefs and follow the rules of what must be done to set the situation right again regardless of what the consequences are.  It actually makes you sick so please allow me to repeat: stick to what you believe, what you know and see is the truth and there’s no moving backward from this point onwards.

On another note, and fortunately this time, it seems that luck is on your side and that following your heart’s desires and your imagination is still the way to go.  You are faced with many choices and opportunities and the difficulty – I mean, far out Man, do you even know the meaning of ‘dif-ffffffi-cult-y’? or is my trying to make it hard for you to read not challenging enough?  I was saying: you’re faced with too many choices: some will yield results, others won’t.  I guess for you, it doesn’t matter if one of the choices falls flat on its face as you can try something else.  What’s the point to this paragraph?  Dunno, really.

In your fears, weirdly, funnily, unbelievably, we have the fear of earning too much being indicated and which could lead you to being overly generous with charities as well as you’re being too smart and too level headed for your own good…  What is there to say?  Be crazy, let your hair down or what’s left of it and don’t spend too much promoting the new state laws on pot in Colorado.

Your wishful thinking is presently working overtime: you wish not to be presented with ‘false’ opportunities so as not to waste precious time.  Also, there is a sense of your longing for times past, when nothing was as fast as today and when communication was limited to parchments left floating in bottles across oceans.  Go figure.

Hey, Woody-of-da-Woodstock-Wonder, ya know what?  I can see you’re no longer wanting to play the patriarch, the one whose advice is the wisest (have you ever been that way? really? Duh).  You want – still do, always will – passion and let yourself being carried by life.  It shows in your movies.  You’ve always been ahead of your time and always have been led by living in the present, being mindful of the now despite your memory stretching to remember back and beyond before and despite your longing for past, fleeting moments.

On your past, we have the word ‘conflicts’ highlighted, that of conflicts that intertwined with other conflicts which – for quite a while for you – seemed to be stuck in the ‘unresolvable’ mode for eternity.  For a long time you let your subconscious mind lead the way you thought which worked out really well for you.  In fact, your subconscious mind was so powerful it overtook whatever you may have been thinking then to transmute it into intelligent creativity.  In other words, you’ve never had to think ‘cause your thinking thought for itself all by itself.  Smart, ain’t it?

These days, there’s no more of that feeling of being lost into the complicated meanders of your own twisted and twistful brain ‘cause your life is all set and nicely organised.  In fact, whatever you do, there’s always plenty of luv around you and that’s all that matters, yeah?  And the prince married his princess.  That’s what I mean.

Me advice to you, Woody-Mate, is to keep the thinking going even if at times you wish to let yourself being carried by your instincts and spontaneity (did I suggest the opposite earlier? – blame the cards – nah, let me be more specific: thinking cap on in your private life – instincts on in your working life – got it?)  You need to be strong at this point in time.

Now, let’s get a good guess at your next movie, yeah, the one which you haven’t yet written but that is lurking with many a spark in the dark recesses of your madly enlightened brain: I think you’re gonna write some script about an unfair, ruthless and womanising man who knows how to fool anyone in his path, man or woman.  You’ll make it dramatic and funny all at the same time but it might end sadly as this man might end confronted by his wrong doings on women’s hearts.  No redemption please.  Let the bastard wallow in it.

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

PS: We long for some tickets here. no one is listening to our needy pleas for munificence…  PL-EASE?

RUTH WILSON

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Good Day, Folks!

Today, we’re working on the unbelievably, utterly cool actress: Ruth Wilson of the amazing world of great and grand chameleons.  Born on 13 January 1982, we have a Capricorn before our eyes.

It is with great excitement that I read the cards for you today, Ruth, as you are not aware of it.  Now, since you said: “What really excites me is the unknown, and getting to grips with something you have no idea about”, I shall be able to predict your future without any guilt as you welcome the new, the exciting and the unexpected into your life.

–           Feralbulb, since when have you ever felt any guilt?

–           Rosie, where the fuckdom hell do you come from?

–           It ain’t an issue, brother, what matters is that I’m here to haunt you, to taunt you and to gauge your eyes out.

–           GET BACK INTO YOUR HOLE, SISTER OR YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN?

–           Have you got the return tickets to Oz yet?

–           Oh, that’s what it’s all about, is it?  ‘There’s no place like home’, huh?  Here, in my pocket.

Feralbulb handles a small file to Rosie.  As she opens it, her eyes light up, the skin on her face brightens and she walks towards the kitchen for a cuppa.  Feralbulb, as is customary, locks the kitchen door behind Rosie.

–           Phew!  That was a clause shave with doom, wasn’t it folks?

Here: three cards for dear Ruth:

High Priestess, Emperor, Star

Ruthy, Ma’am, you’re working extremely hard and you love it.  You thrive in such environment and your craft is your love, your partner, your reason to be.  Thing is, you’re taking on too much at the moment.  You may enjoy good health for now but you need to take care: just because you don’t like to be organised, needn’t mean that you become overwhelmed by your choice of work and its load.  There’s a man around you who isn’t fair and who has a slight advantage over you.  You may be used to not letting any man get to you but this one you need to heed.  One way of doing this is to submerge yourself with your crafty endeavours and that of others.  Still, me point is, take another six months off if you need to or two days at worst, but think about your body.  Anyway, it’s good to see you’re keeping busy with what you enjoy most and that your soul can only survive in an environment that requires your full commitment and your spirited approach.  Acting is your church.  There aren’t two people like you, and boy oh boy, don’t you know it.

You know, Ruth, the way to go for you, as you’re already considering, is to get writers to write those plays for you.  You could do it too, write plays, series, movies where you could make the roles more interesting for women and play in ‘em.  There’s a long life ahead of you, plenty to do, plenty more.  Get organised – at least a little bit – and get going.

Now, as we’ve seen before, there’s this dispirited man around you who needs rest.  Don’t let him pull you down into his black hole of torment  and whatever else it is that is dragging him down (be it a vacuum or a one eyed-monster from under his bed) as he doesn’t deserve it.

At present, it seems you wish for instinct to take over and you don’t want to think.  You’re a natural born thinker and therefore, all you want to do is to let your drive and guts lead you as your brain doesn’t need much effort to remember anything nor deliver any line.  It’s how you make people feel with your acting as well as how you feel about it doing it the way you do it.  I could have punched Rochester in the face for not telling you he was already married.  Likewise, like Luther did, I’d give my life to make you come out of that prison/mental institution by throwing one or two apples at you.  Keep going like this Ma’am, one day I’ll get behind the TV screen and ask for your hand in front of billions of couch potatoes.  I’d like to talk about you and how good you’re at drama on stage, but you haven’t sent me the expected tickets just yet; maybe I should have asked for them.  That’s you told, now.  PL-EASE?

Once again, we have this man around you whom you become more aware of.  Don’t let him tug at your feelings.  With him, you can only and must keep your head on your shoulders at all time.  Not that you’d have any trouble doing this, just that you need to be aware of it.

On your past, I’ve this motto that comes along: ‘no interference from life out there, just act’.  Love and some forms of fun you shut from your life at some point in order to do what you do so well.  Also, there’s only one like you, so any suitor would have to embrace you as a whole, as the larger than life person you are.  Men are attracted to you, they fear you – not I, only Rosie scares the hell out of me – they think you’re awesome and put you right up there on a pedestal.  Only men who misbehave would interest you… but I digress.  Will you marry, Ruthy, me lovely?

I understand: there’s not much time, life is short, let’s get down to what’s important (did you even listen to what I said earlier? You’ve plenty of time ahead of you to do all that you want).  You’ve also a generous soul.  It may be that you wish to be charitable in some way, look after those who have less than you financially or possibly teach.  Whatever it is you wish to do from that perspective, please do it if it makes you feel good and if it doesn’t mean you’re overextending yourself more than really necessary, time wise.

I believe that you will overcome whatever predicament is holding you with this unsecure and uncertain man who is around you.  You won’t let it get to you fully even if at times you’ll feel defeated.  Don’t.  There’s a more sincere bloke coming along and this, right after the jerk (sorry but this is who he is) who is in your mind is extracted from your heart.

As I see it, your next endeavour will have to do with a lost soul…  a woman who roams the earth in search of her identity and dreams she isn’t allowed to have and who, in many ways, chases her tail as her identity resides home, as one day she realises that she can travel within… not a new idea but with you playing it, it’ll feel like it.

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT

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Good Day, Folks!

How are you doing?

Today, we’re reading for Giuseppe Leonardo Gorduinitto-Levitt, born on 17 February 1981, one of the few rare Aquarians who looks like one and for whom I’ve done readings.  As ya all know, he comes from that rock somewhere off the Sicilian Moon (like most Aquarians do, or so I’ve heard) and that makes him stand out in looks, personality and life path.  Sorry, I’m being yelled it’s not ‘Giuseppe’ but Joseph.  There.  Happier?

Three cards for you, me little friend:

Pope – Judgement – Temperance

First of all, Giuseppe, it seems that there are many strong hesitations on your part.  Which way to go? To conform or not to conform?  Zat is ze quest-shion.  You feel stuck and not stuck, as if the only way forward were forward, because backward and now are simply out of the question.  What a predicament!  Phew!  Haven’t I just enlightened you with clear and intuitive information you didn’t even ask for?  I’m zat generous, yo!  Enough of that particular nonsense, here’s more of it but in a different form: there’s a surprise for you: some analysis that bears fruits and/or comes to fruition in an inspiring way for you… some new endeavour for which you don’t/didn’t expect to become successful.  This will pave the way to bigger, bolder and stronger independence for you as well as cheer up those around you who need cheered up and get them closer to you.  Don’t worry; your current concerns aren’t of any real concern if I may put it this way.

Hey, Gordon, you know what?  You’re your own worst enemy.  If you didn’t exhaust yourself the way you do at present, you’d feel like you can ‘see’ again and be able to plan in the manner you’re accustomed to.  Get real and get some sleep.  That’s all there is to it.  And stop speaking French in your dreams ‘cause you can’t have that croissant for breakfast unless you go to a French bakery and ask for a ‘croissant’, not a ‘croizante’ or a ‘croashian’.  Trust me on this.

Now, zat is zoooo interesting, Joey.  Your fears come as fear of surprises and fear of surprising women?  Or women who surprise you?  Or creative women who surprise you?  Dunno.  Whichever way this is supposed to come out, you’re meant to understand it and take stock.  In a way – so sorry, with all due respect – you’re an idiot.  Not really, but in a way, as I said, and that’s becauze.  What waz I zaying?  O.  Yes.  You’re an idiot because you’re currently having too much control over what happens in your life and it’d be just good for you to let go of the reigns a little bit and let surprises surprise you for the sake of it.  Enjoy it too!!!  Wink.

Indeed, you need to sit still for a while, or lie down and sleep.  Ponder, consider and wonder… zat’s all there – sorry, that’s – all there is to it.  Get yourself back into your inner garden of beauty and zen in (like zoom in) and let yourself be overwhelmed by the fucking beauty of it all, let your emotions come to the surface and be hellishly inspired.  That’s you told.

Hey, Levitt-Man, there’s no fear to be had.  I mean, you’re not going to be defeated.  Sure you need to fight and be prepared for whatever comes your way but no need to be overly on the defensive.  All will be well, I can assure you.  Trust me.  Or not.

It is clear that you come from a nurturing environment and that this makes you a contented individual, one who may seem aloof to all those ladies’ needs and wants.  Nah.  No lady needs you.  You’re engaged in the pursuit of noble pursuits (how well put is that, huh?) and that’s that.

You’re a blue man.  A swords’ man.  I’m talking symbols here.  You think before you feel, always and your partner or potential partner is/will be just like you.  It’s a good feel because you’re both capable to analyse things and overanalyse them to such an extent that no one gets hurts and the relationship goes on and on and on and…. happy Merry you and her!!

To finish – almost – this off, my advice for the next twelve months to you is to take a break or short breaks all along – throughout your numerous activities – and give your body, especially your spinning mind – a good holiday.  It’ll refresh those parts of you you’ve forgotten you have.

As to your next endeavour, I feel that trips, long trips, walking trips maybe? are here to inspire you and renew your creativity.  Two paths are going to open up or you’re considering a movie much like ‘sliding doors’ where two people – possibly twins – take a different path in their life only to end up in the same place with the same outcome.  Something like this.  Some weird science, something with two keys.  Sorry for the confusion, you keep your secrets well and I can’t decipher more than the cards will allow me to.

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb

PS:  Pssstt!  Hey, Gordon-Man, a couple of tickets to your latest movie with Scarlett Johansson would be nice.  Please, of course.

JAIME PRESSLY

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Good Day, Folks!

How’s you in 2014?  Still sobering up and slobbering?  Well, wake up will ya?  It’s da 6th day into the New Year for Jolly God Damn sake’s!  The End may be near… Do something!  Us?  O’course we’re doing something about it if you must know: we’ll be back in Oz in 2014, (as promised to Rosie, remember?), before the End-that-is-near-and-Looming catches us unaware and because Eternity awaits us down under.

As to our sheep, today we will be dealing with the ‘Lucky You’ Queen of flagrance and forsaken words: Jaime Pressly!  This indeed is the third woman in the lot I’ll have predicted stuff for whom I’d like to marry.  Shhh…  So full of shitty words and THAT pretty…  All the better.  Please don’t tell her or Rosie, I’ll let Jaime know in due course.

Jaime is a splendid foul mouthed Leo (in the movies that is), born on 30 July 1977 and for that outcome to have arisen, Mercury rising babbling with an uncontrollable Aries moon and Sun angles may have been present at birth, although there’s no guarantee as I’m only guessing and cards, not planets, are me specialty even if most of the time, much wilderness-guessing is implied and/or used.

I drew three cards for you:

Magician + High Priestess + Hermit

Hey, woman-of-many-words, how funny is this?  You’re full of ideas and very creative…  however, the personae you project onto any stage is extremely different from what is shown.  Deceiving appearances are the norm here.  The outer and super-extraverted being you have on offer on the outside is highlighted as you being very different on the inside.  I know, it’s called a good actress, but it’s not just because you’re good on stage that you’re a good at acting, but also because who you are is so, so, so, so, so… did I say ‘so’? different from the characters you inhabit.  There are many women in you: the actress, the bread winner, the teacher, the talk-fast-don’t-care-what-comes-out-of-me-gob, the lady, the mother, the intellectual, the… right, fine, I’ll shut up, happy?

Yet, you don’t have a multiple personality disorder (unlike .. um, let’s avoid the subject).  Your passionate nature is tempered by a strong ability to remain cool under pressure and think before you speak, believe it or not… I’m telling you this because although you may know it, I and folks out there didn’t realise who you are to its full extent and it’s just lovely…  did I say lovely?  Nah, not turning into a wet turnip… besides, what’s wrong with cheap sentiments?

Hmm, currently, Ms Press-Lily of the Lily-pad-pond, your heart may be bleeding, wanting nothing more than your spirit to be fed by all things spiritual, meaningful and that speak of truth.  You may be willing to give it all up for the greater good and purpose of your richly creative soul.  There’s that much more to you than meets the eye, and if you feel like giving it all up to retire as a Tibetan monkess (yeah, monkey is to monkeyess as monk is to monkess, got it, you dumb-pinched goblin?)

Ma’am, I’d like to add that it feels as if a lack of enjoyment of the right type may have led you to the uneasy feeling that you can’t see any truth in what you do and what people say to you and making you seek sincere nurturing of your soul as well as a different path.

Indeed, seeking betterment within and no selfish pursuits in the acting world is what you really, really, want (thank Allah for the Spice Girls).

There is a strong sense of unfairness and disillusionment around you which you don’t wish to have to deal with any longer, as if there was no worth in all that surrounds you.

In your past, Jaime, there was a fair amount of volatility, as if you couldn’t see where you were headed for a long time, as if you stepped on chance without knowing where it may lead, as physical activities were highlighted when in fact, and already then, your soul longed for stronger intellectual and spiritual pursuits.

However, all things a little unhappy having been considered, there’s great energy, imagination and creativity available to you and there’s really nothing stopping you from using all your combined talents (acting, love of foul words, imagination, political skills, as un-political as you may appear) to get you moving on and forward to lead you where you, and only you, wish to go.

Me advice to you for now is to stop and focus on the moment and your everyday slowly to soak in your needs, accept them and decide what must be decided.  Yes, and if you need to look at the past and consider what you feel you may have lost, do so but only in moderation as not all is lost, far from it, and what may not be any more hides what still is and can still be gotten, if not much, much more.

As to your next endeavour, it fits right in with what I transmitted to you above: open up, ‘feel the feel’ and give what you wish to give others through charitable acts of kindness, generosity… it won’t feel like hard work ever more or like you’re walking backwards.  This means I’m not seeing any more movies or TV series – for 2015 and beyond – in store for you ‘cause you need to be a hermit for a while.  Move on and do what your heart longs for, Ma’am and if you prove me wrong, then please, do send us a couple o’tickets, wontcha?

Hope you enjoyed this reading.

Feralbulb