Both, Rosie and I are great admirers of the values you believe in and your uncompromising way of looking at life. You’re born on 19 February 1981, you’re almost 32. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
First of all, it seems you’re not going through the best patch at this point in time of your life. Nothing serious, but you could do with having the right people around you. It’s like things are escaping from your usual sharp sense of observation and knowing before knowing. I think you’re tired and that despite you’re being a natural type of Red Bull energy power woman, your body is shutting down and asking you to listen to it. It happens to us all, believe it or not, and you’re included so please remember you’re not invincible, accept this temporary state of weakness and rise from it by giving your body the necessary time to recover.
Right now you are living through an ‘eureka’ type of moment where it is revealed to you that not only you need rest, but you need to get away – incognito – not sure how you’re gonna go about that one, Betthy, Ma’am, you’re not quite invisible from all aspects of you but hey, your manager will figure it out, and if you’re your own manager, you’ll find a way, for sure. You need to seek solace, be by yourself and with a few quiet friends (or as quiet as you have them) to seek guidance from within as you’re your own best advisor.
You fear having to go without at some point in your life. Not only this, but you are an insatiable, hard worker who doesn’t know how to go about life without your craft. You know you’re being unwise and unrepentantly, unashamedly wasting yourself in your art with all the excesses it entails. You’re not afraid, sure and you use your instincts rather than any thought driving way to follow your path because you’re afraid to think, and you’re afraid to think because it implies not feeling and not using your senses. Now that is a strange way of looking at things, I understand you, but Rosie is flabbergasted. It’d be nice to get to know you and understand that part of you if you would enlighten us. Just remember that you also need to crystallise your thinking in order to get your body to function again and decide to rest.
You wish you could be more creative and you know exactly what needs to be done but you fear the sheer scope of the projects that pop into your head, because that is what they do, they just ‘pop’ and won’t give you up and/or you won’t give them up. You have a lot of vision yet you don’t want to be led astray and again, here I note that you are scared of using your brain because from your point of view, a brain cannot feel and can only lead blindly. You fear your thinking ability and you fear that the human thought is not necessary and therefore, that we should all lead our lives instinctively because that way, the world would be a better place. Somehow, somewhere, I think you are refusing to see things as they should be. You protect yourself Beth, just a tad little too much. Trust your brain, it means you no harm and, besides, you’re born with it, tough luck!
You’ve been surrounded by friends and lovers all your life. You can’t go without them and there is, despite appearances, only one person who will always remain loyal to you and who has your heart. Don’t dismiss him or her. You are born under the sign of friendship and you’ll never be short of friends but one person only will be by your side most of your life and when the chips are down, you are fortunate to have such a person like this by your side.
You need passion in your life. You need to remember what it feels like to feel something for another you care for and you need to see through the heart of everything. It is suggested you ought to trust your ‘basic instincts’ a lot more and knock at the door of opportunity and chance, to open it if necessary, and see for yourself how things are and what the state of affairs truly is. This may be vague but it is a definite: open your eyes Beth and seek those of true value to your heart to be near you right now.
Now that is funny Miss Mary, Mary, quite contrary: use your fucking brain once and for all to match that of your gut feelings and make a decision. You don’t have to be blunt; you can cover what you have to say nicely and neatly by choosing the right words. Hurting people makes you vomit, I get that, but no one asked you to hurt anybody. I repeat for the last time: use your fucking brain and mince your words.
Best thing to do for now is not to worry about the money and not to dream of going home and do nothing for the rest of your life. Take that much needed rest, like I said before and choose several spots for your holidays that never make you feel like you’re home since this is what you desire most: South America is nice, so is Australia, and so is Iceland. The worlds is oyster, Ma’am, so listen to your body, to your instincts, to your brain and to me and Rosie and all will be well. Because it has to be and because it will be.
Hope you enjoyed this reading Ms Ditto and do drop by if you think about it.