Sorry for the delay in posting this reading. It’s been tough lately but at last, I have the best of news: I finally got Rosie to leave the country for a while… to take a holiday where she’s always dreamed of going to: Australia. Good riddance! I mean, since the toilet incident over the Tina Turner reading, there was no way I was not going to react… but it had to be subtle, it had to be sweet… the sweetest revenge of all: I talked her through it and off she went to the Land of Eternity. And you bet she’ll come back maintaining that she’s now one of them true blue Oz folks because she will have felt them through her bones. Rosie is like that. She’ll say that she will have felt overwhelmed by their psychic particles, my sister’s mad. And this is not the end of it, because of course, she’ll wonder – but O too late and O too conveniently – how I possibly could have managed to pay for her trip to which I’ll reply saying: ‘God dammit Rosie, why do you think we got company credit cards for?’ And the arguments will multiply, flare up and snow ball until, hopefully, she’ll have no other option but to send me over there too, ha ha… Now, wouldn’t that be funny? We are twins for a reason after all…
But let’s get on with the reading for Mr. Salman Rushdie, born on 19 June 1947, in what used to be known as Bombay, and Mr. Rushdie being a Gemini in all its splendour.
Dear Mr Salman, your unchallenged writing skills as yet are successfully being challenged by two people in your life: one being a real woman, the other by the main woman character you are exploring and writing about in your new book. As you are writing this book from a woman’s perspective, it forces you to get into her character and into your feminine side which so far, and despite your incredible, bottomless knowledge and mind-numbing intuition, still eludes you. Not that anyone knows that, to the exception of the women in your life and I. This is a new enterprise just born out of you and you are constructing it by making a very good synopsis plan. It is creating upheaval in your personal life as it forces you to understand your other better half and it creates a few tensions in your current relationship, in the same way a couple buying a house, renovating it and expecting their first child would.
This new project is a source of great inspiration to you. You’d been wondering about what you could write that would be different and finally you pinned it, with it coming into your head: you’d write a story about love between a man and a woman, but from the woman’s point of view and about her removing the shackles that keep her bound to her man. You are mistakenly worried that money is slowly dwindling away and you feel that this new book will replenish the wallet for a long time.
Indeed, indeed Mr. Rushdie, with such cards, it is obvious you don’t want to suffer any more, and nor do you want to make the woman (wife, partner, sister, mother, etc.) in your life suffer (yeah, I reckon you’re gonna say, ‘who wants to suffer and who wants to make others suffer?’) It seems that even the best of us do it unconsciously at times, including thinkers like you. You have started some work within yourself to stop the longing and the impossible struggles you have fought against yourself, your ‘Mr Hyde’ side, that which has uttered unspeakable words and unspeakable truths to anybody around you and to those you may have jilted but especially to the wives/lovers/partners who may have jilted you before you considered jilting them. Such is life of a complicated man, yours. Yeah, that is precisely what I’m sayin’ and thank God Rosie’s away. Forgive me in saying the above and what follows Mr. Rösti, I can only explain it by my being of the simple type as much as my leading a very simple life, but I’m not excusing myself, just telling you how it is. Your becoming the best friend of the one woman concerned will improve your life as well as hers, that considerably and in ways you can’t even fathom at this point in time.
Dear Mr. Rushdie, I must recommend that you don’t undertake your new project lightly, not that you would but I recommend it anyway. What I mean is that the person you are confronting your ideas with cannot be treated lightly, as a mere means to an end. It is a person, a she-person and she cannot – nor will she accept it – be led blindly into this project. That person must be treated as an equal to you, a person in her own right, regardless of her gender which you must put aside and ignore (a way of speaking – I can’t ignore any woman I speak to but I tend to ignore what they mean through what they say, so I understand unless this is just I?). You cannot do this merely for the sake of money as this would be chipping away at your relationship with that person. Any aspect of your craft in this matter cannot be created to be ignored and left aside, it must all be clearly visible and understandable to the public. It is indicated that if you don’t attend to this project with the minutiae that is required from you, your own emotional life will suffer.
It is clear that you feel to gain from it at all levels, glory, fame renewed once again and to be seen as well as to feel and be the greatest (if not one of the greatest) writers of these last couple of centuries, forget about the constant political clamour and discountent around you, you’re used to it and it can’t reach you any more. This world is a changed world. It is clear that you wish for some form of union as well as a settled home life. You wish to become the gifted king whose leadership in his craft cannot and won’t be challenged for a very long time. You wish to be able to transform your craft to such a level that absolutely everyone – even those without much education – may be reached and in owe of the invisible and subtle ways your writing speaks to them.
You come from a background where fortunes have varied greatly. I would use “the rise and fall of families” to describe it and because of this you wish to never feel like you might ever miss on anything. There is a deeply ingrained fear of poverty that motivates you. Not only this, but the lack of spirituality that some of your peers may have suffered at some point in their lives, if not throughout their entire life, is something you fear and never wish to be confronted by. You fortunately have always shown a reasonably enterprising spirit, even if foolish at times and it has served you well. Somehow, it feels like you have always wished, and still do, to play music and sing and I would suggest you indulge yourself in it. Also, you would like to claim oratory skills as being part of your repertoire, Mr. Rushdie and so should you.
It feels like and it is indicated that it would be good to revisit your spirituality and incorporate more of it into your daily activities. Using your sharp intuition for your writing is excellent, but it is annulled and useless when used in a cold hearted way, without emotions. One cannot – you cannot – afford to forget your heart and dismiss what you feel through your entire body as mere nonsense. What you see must be felt or else it all becomes an illusion. It is one thing to remove oneself from one situation to get a good perspective but aloofness only results in cold facts which, if and when ignored by the heart, will render your writing manipulative, calculating and heartless, giving readers no opportunity to empathise with your characters and in this case, the woman in question. It is one thing for most of us men to encompass and fulfill our sexual beings through several simultaneous relationships, it is another to encompass and understand the range of emotions most women feel. What do I know about it? Well, I’m an experienced middle age man, I know about what women want and feel even if Rosie would vehemently refute it and take me to court for being open about it but this is just I. Been there done that if you ask me Mr. Rushdie.
Simply put, you have your hard work ability when it comes to writing and also other writers of the feminine type and especially, especially all the women with whom your relationships ended up in some sad way. Call them – not good for the ego of course – but call them saying you wanna help them as friends so that not only the day you die, you will feel forgiven by the God of women; but especially for you to get a deep insight on how women feel. Getting the insight of “unhappy – let down” women will give you a cutting edge over other men writing from a woman’s perspective, trust me on that Mr. Rösti.
I can only reiterate that the perspective from which you understand and function in terms of understanding “women” must be revisited, from a spiritual point of view, woman being the child bearer and primary nurturer and also how hormones, simply put, affect the way a woman can think and feel at various times (of her life, month, day). I can only strongly emphasise the “jilted woman’s” feelings to enable your writing on your book to take the necessary shine and polish its needs.
Ok, Mr. Rushdie, this is the end for today. How can I, Feralbulb of the never-never-whatever possibly be giving you advice over your writing ? Well, this is only I, I and I.