– Good Day Ladies and Gentlemen,
– And supervise…
– To give me support.
– This is my show.
– I deserve some trust, you’ve seen me do this before and you know I’m good at it.
– Feralbulb taught me not to let loose on the goose.
– I’M NOT FERALBULB!
– All the same, this show is mine.
– You’re a control freak.
– Don’t you insult me in public! You’d better—
– —Ladies & Gentlemen, apologies for we’re at it again: I’ve sent Rosie to join her brother, Feralbulb, in the kitchen. I took the TV, radio and toaster away so they don’t dab into any form of particles to escape. Here, John, your reading is ready:
You’re just recovering from heartbreak and difficult times as far as relationships are concerned. You are trying to concentrate on new projects and it seems you’re looking for young blood to replenish castings. A very wise woman inspires you and is always present to attend all your new projects. It seems that at times inspiration fails you but that when this lady is around, things kind of happen for you. It is indicated it is good for you to be supported in this way as you find yourself in a period of fragility.
Currently, the difficult issue is to infuse a new and fresh breath in all your activities as the home front isn’t exactly what fulfils you at the moment. You need to move, run and see people. You currently want to explore new horizons, as if you were an explorer visiting the Andes for the first time. You need to woo your sense of mystery and adventure.
It seems spending ought to be curbed a little or at least, finances shouldn’t be left aside. It seems also that your generosity is divine and that you give all to those who love and/or close to you. It may be commendable to be so altruistic but you would be urged not to let your instincts and passions rule your head. Yeah, yeah, it’s your choice, I get it. Still, reading your cards, I can only recommend that you use a little caution, righteo, Mr. Malkovich?
Well, well, well John. Why? Why are you refusing entirely to see what can’t be seen but can be felt? Not all is fact. You’re a man of the craft, you know perfectly well nothing is what it seems when you try and look beyond the beyond. Actors will have accidents and not turn up on stage, lights will break during a show, a few lines will be missed or pertinent words switched. Nothing is perfect even if it mostly works out fine. Something has gotten into you. What can I say? Grab the tweezers and extract that something with painstaking patience and resolve. It’s just a stage.
Your past is full of contradictions. You’ve been there, done that and yet you don’t feel as if you’ve seen that much. It’s like you opened up your horizons and shrank it up all at the same time… such is your sense of the surreal. Everything can be so big, so wide, so magic and everything can be so small, mean and down right down to earth. There’s a duality within you, an ambivalence that needs looked after and nurtured, but for the sake of balance, one side must not take over the other. They must remain equal at all times.
What you need is simple: you need rest, calm, balance. Seek quiet spaces and sleep or meditate or do whatever it takes to find peace with yourself. It seems that re-reading Shakespeare plays, tragedies and anything that fills your headspace with what is worthy of you, and only that, will help you find solace.
You’re not without resources. Again, and in moderation, do give to those around you who need it. It fills that gap in your heart you have currently trouble to listen to. Also, it seems you believe that working as if work was all you could do on the planet and working very hard at it puts you in a trance that refreshes your mind, as if not thinking too much at times and do physical work or work that is routine, and plenty of it, takes your mind off the numb stage it is currently stuck at. So pay attention, Johnny M., try and avoid that belief as what you really need at this point in time is let your body rest and make peace with your mind.
Now, let me say this: what you have accumulated should be left where it is and not touched or thought about as it only adds to your worries whereas it is happy sitting where it sits just now. Also, the explorer within must be let out into the wild. Go and explore what it is you need to explore. Move and move on. Those you love will not go away and will always be here to greet you back. Go travel within and out. It is like a pilgrimage you need to attend to as you need to rediscover the world from a different perspective. You must also relive some emotions and let them out for all and for you to feel.
Interestingly, it feels as if your next play, because you’ll be writing one (and direct it) in which you’ll appear only briefly, will be some very cynical and ironic about a ‘gentle’ psychopath (as opposed to a dangerous one), a hardworking man who never opens up and never let his sensitive side out of the closet, shutting it out as such side might not even exist inside him. His family will incur major disasters, such as he might have a child permanently sick, another turning to crime his wife leaving him, his friends not being real friends and still, this man will be happy and content working, working, working, accumulating incredible wealth and feel fulfilled, which might be just as depressing as Miller’s ‘Death of a Salesman’, if such comparison can be made.
I look forward to seeing your next work Johnny Man.
Till next week.