Dear Holly, Ma’am,
May Rosie, (still attached to her god damned chair and with her mouth taped – she started screaming the poor sod, so sorry for the background muffled sounds), and I welcome you on to our small stage. May the god damned blessed light be shed on you!
It appears that at this point in time, you have made an amazing encounter and that this brings a welcome relief in the form of a trip. It’s like a fated meeting gets you out of that rut you feel stuck in and unable to get out of. But you’re not that stuck as you’re about to discover and this grey fog you wandered through in the past few weeks, possibly months is suddenly lifting. Well no, it’s not lifting but you’re walking out of it and it feels like it’s lifting whereas you just walked by the edge of the bloody damned fog.
Yes, ties of all sorts, work, relationships, money, you name it, kept you into that rut but ‘eureka!’, that little bulb just lit up again and you remembered that there’s always going to be work for you, that you’ll never lose all your hard earned buck and as far as relationships go, the loved ones had better follow you ‘cause it’s not that time of moon for you to follow ‘em, right? Right. O’course I am right. What do you take me for?
And remember also that whatever one’s choices may be, one always learns from it and if one day regrets point the tip of their noses, slap them hard and come back to where you were before because just as much as thing can be done, they can be undone too, just like the universe will be one day, sometime far, far away from now, so don’t you worry.
There’s no question that at the moment, you’re ready to pull the bull by the horns, with kindness as much as strength, and that nothing can stop you from getting what you want and where you’re headed. You’re feeling generous, loving and willing to help those who have a lot less and close ones.
There’s nothing more you dislike at the moment than pure, cold thought and you literally ‘hate’ people who come into your life and put the brakes on anyone having fun and being social, as if such a person had done so recently and had your hair stand on end with horror. Most probably this man, some pretentious dude, plagued the company you were in with his misery mind, lack of imagination and inability to behave foolishly. No doubt you won’t let it happen again because you’ll spot such a dude 15 miles coming next time.
Currently, you’re not keen on big changes in your life and you’re welcoming the unexpected, friendship, love, lovers. Aaaaah love! Always a special spot in your big heart, so much room for it. Your idea of love is to let it come and let it go as life goes by and enjoy it while it lasts. Nice Ms Hunter, nice, way to go. If I were a woman… well, that’s another story.
For now, it seems that your past was very different from what your current life is. There were times with nothing, nothing at all and there were times with incredible fortune and abundance. Now there is balance, a hard-earned and well deserve balance of mind-body-spirit and you wish for it never to go away.
Ain’t it nice to be able to control the level and intensity of one’s life, Ma’am? So if I may, why let go a little more and behave as if you were blind. Let loose, let your hair down, see what happens next. Stop thinking. Stop thinking about details, let life grab you and take you places without planning or organising. It’s good for you.
And therefore, in order to let life come to you, what is suggested here, Holly-Ma’am, is to take the time to rest. Yes, I’ll go further than that: meditate! You’re an accomplished theatre actress; you know what to do to listen to silence with penetrating insistence and rewarding benefit. Again, don’t let pure cold mathematical thinking get the better of you and dismiss that type of thought because it’s no use and no good to you.
Hey, Holly, just because you don’t feel guilty enough – in your mind’s eye – for not feeling guilty and for your not having regrets doesn’t mean you should dwell on it like this. Victory never is what it appears to be indeed and one cannot draw fast conclusions for the short term. Hold your horses and consider what it is you could do if you had to fix things, even if there’s nothing to be ‘fixed’ at present. What would you do if things/life didn’t turn out as expected in the near future? You know it’s not worth dwelling on it, nor is it worth dwelling over the God damn dwelling itself. So live on, Ma’am. Live to the full, enjoy the arts, your craft and good company and don’t let life get the better of you. Yeah, that’s right, just think of the Simpsons’ creators and how daily life can turn out as one big fucking and funny joke (no sarcasm intended here) and all will be well.
Indeed, your next movie might be made playing a woman who is dying and decides to have that fun bucket list drawn, one unusual bucket list that would exclude all people she doesn’t like for any reason, to a dangerous level where she decides to get rid of the ‘unwanted’ in her life before her own body gives up and have fun with it. The idea here would be to get the cinema audience to love that woman’s character despite her obvious flaws. A tear jerker of a movie, a mind boggling picture no one will wanna miss. Good on ya, Holly!
Hope you enjoyed this reading.